Before Sunrise I

Two single ride tickets for BVG – Berlin Metro were still sitting on my work desk until very recently. In some sense like breadcrumbs to help steer through memories of that evening.

It was September. I had just travelled 1800kms just to have dinner with my host family in Freiburg, Germany. The look their face when I walked in the room made every single mile I had traveled worth it. Now, I was flying out to Berlin. The city I adored. The first city I set my foot in, in Germany.

I amazed right from the day I landed with the differences between the East and the West. The history, architecture, Jewish quarters, abandoned building turned into art studios, concentration camps, falafel and beer on the street, the dome of German Reichstag and the silent witness to all the river Spree – that serpents  through the city.

When wheels touch down at Berlin Tegel, all that I experienced as a 21 year old, flashes in front of my eyes. As I walk down the walkways in the airport, I remember, the last time I walked through these, I was looking for Air France’s customer service office as they had misplaced my bad.

I make my way through the gates and exit the airport. And I wish if I could get another chance at making an entrance, another chance at seeing her through the sliding doors for the first time. I am expecting her to be there and I am excited. But I haven’t seen her in 6 years. It has been 8 years since we parted ways.

The tattoos, piercings, and haircut, she has changed since I saw her last. She is wearing all black and an orange colored scarf. Her piercings reflect the light from the overhead tungsten lamp at the arrival terminal.

Then I think about myself, what about me – a business suit instead of torn jeans, a roller suitcase instead of a backpack, and a credit card instead of cash.  Tonight I have a hotel to check in versus someone’s bachelor pad. Things do change.

As I make my way to her, I remind myself it is a business trip and we are going to have a drink and that is that. And then she hugs me.

We jump on a metro to get to my hotel. I drop my bags and we are out on the streets of Berlin. Bus – Train – Taxi, we finally make it to Kreuzberg – a so called hippy neighborhood close to the wall. Well, at least what remains of the wall.

We sit down by the river and try to catch each other up on our lives and the 6 years that have gone by. There is a rescue operation going on in the background. Someone jumped off the bridge and emergency services are looking for him.  30 odd minutes pass by and we realize that we are all caught up. Once the adrenaline of meeting someone after so long drains off, we realize it is pretty cold by the water so we decide to walk. Walk by the great Berlin wall.

It is too cold so we must duck into a bar. A dingy, smoky place. She orders and we now have beer. There aren’t too many people there. I couldn’t tell you what we spoke about but in that moment it felt engaging. You know when you rather not blink because you may miss something, it felt like that.

The charm of the evening is just overwhelming. I try to recollect how the 22 year old felt when he met her in this city and if I could be 22 just this once.  And she brings me right back to my senses, when she say “Bist du Ok? Was ist loss?” – simply put – “Are you ok ? What’s up?”

I am fine but I think I need to walk a little. Clear my mind perhaps. We walk over to the Spree and we are standing by the river again. It is some ungodly hour and I don’t want to know how long before Sun shows up on the horizon. Standing by the river, looking at the Alexander Tower – I say “We are finally here.”

A promise, rather a wish both of us made / had when we were together – We ought to have a night on town in Berlin – she once said. I seconded.  

And this is it but it is nothing like the 22 year old and the 19 year old imagined it to be. You know that time in your life when you think anything is possible and it really is in that moment.  

In between hopping bars that stay open all night long, and getting something to eat, jumping on and off of Metros – somewhere in between we realize we have grown up. And as the first light of the morning is about to descend, we are ascending on the escalator at the metro station – ‘Under Den Linden’, coming up on Brandon Burger Tor. The Berliner Gate. A place that is very special to me.

I clasp her hand tight as the gate begins to come into sight of our vision and we can feel the sun rays on our persons.

Just like a kid trying to shut his eyelids tight in hope of going back to that dream he was woken from – I close mine for a second. She notices me and smiles like she always does.

We are now right in front of the monument. I sip on the last sip of the remaining coffee and light a cigarette and she steals a drag.

I realize that I have a meeting in an hour. I must get back. She has to work on a paper. Sun light - now floods the sidewalk, the rood, and all those nooks and corners one could hide the evening before.

It is time. She looks me square in the eyes and says –  “Find yourself and you will find happiness. I am going to do it myself. One is meant to do it individually.”

I want her to get on the metro first. As she hands me those two tickets for BVG – Berlin Metro, she vehemently explains where I need to change the trains, which street I need to turn on to get back to my hotel. Then she hugs for one last time and doors closed behind her.

I jump on the train in the other direction.

We ran into each other in three different countries but Berlin is where we met for the first time. So in some sense it is poetic that we met there the last – at least for the near future. 

Neo