….,” Dad Said

It is one of those days, when you completely take your family for granted and don’t think twice before beeping them on their cell phones. With all friends gone and party over, I felt utterly lonesome and without thinking twice I shamelessly called up dad.

Well, one odd occasion when instead of dad catching you partying late, you catch him having a couple of drinks. “Well, son, we are just out catching up on a couple o drinks after completion of this project. You tell me what is new on your front. Heard you’ve been partying in B’lore over the last weekend.”

Well, I had been. I was awfully silent and said, “Sorry, dad, I’ll catch you later. Continue.” Huhhh, to my utter surprise (or maybe not) he said, “Stop giving me these candyfloss wrapped lines. Tell me what happened?”

“Nothing, just a lil lonely. Bored perhaps, I don’t know. Friends left, friends leaving. You know how it is.”

He sipped on his drink and said, “Remember, we used to go rowing and canoeing. Half way through, we would drop our ores and just lay calm in our canoes. You sometime would even close your eyes and lay down. When you opened your eyes and found your canoe drifted meters away from mine, you would get terrified and scream at me. As to how I could let it drift. Sooner or later, you got good at canoeing, you had no fear of the water and you grew comfortable with a bit of loneliness, and you were just fine. I don’t remember, you waiting for me to drop ores. I remember, even on stormy days just in the middle of June, you would go all alone canoeing.”

“This is how it is, two planks, two canoes – let loose in the sea, come closer and rub against each other for a while. But for how long they’ll stick on no one knows. It is just like that, row while you can, lay low when you are tired, make those waves your companions, you won’t be alone. As far as brushing against other canoe is concerned, it is just a tide away. Hold on.”

“Ok, Ba. I get it. You carry on. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Nite son.”

Neo

Podding Couples

My job is of the guy, who does classification… you know the guy who puts things into boxes. Somehow, he has to have an opinion about the product he sees. It is required. And is it strange to see our jobs rub onto our lives?

See, a insurance policy agent, he will always try and sell it to you, may that be an idea, his advice or anything at all. A perfect housewife ( homemaker to be politically correct) would enrich you with homely and stabilizing perspective on no matter what…

So just like that, when I see by-products of our global, jet setting, fast food-fast date-fast die lifestyle, it is nothing but a co-curricular activity to classify it. So, this time these by-products happen to be couple. You know…

Convenient Couples:

They know what they are in it for. Simple and Straight. Clinical and on the face value. Resulting in fast and convenient volatile motion of preferences.

Chipkoo Couples:

The ones which are perfect props for fevi-quick advertisements. Jesus, I get bored of myself sometime, don’t know how people can’t get enough of each other. They are together over breakfast, lunch, tea-coffee breaks,(over loo breaks if they could but…well)

Compartmentalized Couples:

A very special and premium breed. Consciously keeping personal and professional life separate. No lunches – no coffees within the premises. Brilliant guys. Respect.

“Lekin mein… Suno too…. Hann par mein, wohh….. Aakash ke ghar!... Copules

Ahh easy fellas. These are the easiest to spot, a guy would always walk around with an apologetic gesture and glance towards heavens to ask what have I got myself into again but taken extreme satisfaction in the whole ‘making up to you’ game.

Weekend Couples:

Life in a strange city can be boring and specially over the weekends and what best way to kill boredom that be with people. So you might see these folks little more frequently over the weekends as compared to normal days.

Troubled Couples:

You wonder because you see them fight more than be at peace.

Confused Couples:

“Nahh, we are just friends.” Yes those ones.

The Cute ones…

There is nothing logical that can explain why you find them ‘just about perfect’ Some folks, you find yourself at most comfortable with, you can share the smile with them. End of the day you might just say, “Man, there is something about them…kinda cute.”

Now, don’t be mad at the onlooker. He is just one of you, maybe with a bit cynical but realistic, compassionate but a lil dark perspective on the situation.

Neo

Have You?

He called at an odd hour, “I’m leaving. At max a month. Just wanted to let you know.”

She knew as much as he did and you could have guessed, it was definitely lil more than ‘just letting know.’

She smiled for him. Said, what people say on such phone calls and hung up.

Sometimes, life is too long for us to handle, too fast for us to keep pace with and too slippery for us to hold on to. Sooner or later we start taking things for granted. Just like it is certainty that Sun will rise from East and will eventually settle on west, you are sure that you’ll see all these people tomorrow as well over the breakfast, in lobby, over lunch, in some meetings, at some club or on street and sometimes at railway stations and airport. Sometimes, because of sheer coincidences or because of created coincidences…

But, the whole dynamics changes when someone is to leave and leave for good. All of sudden her mind reeled back into past. There was a flashback of all the events and incidences passed between them. As the cab took familiar turns, passed regular eating joints and clubs and movie halls, she couldn’t help but think about the time that passed so fast, maybe none of them could have realised.

Knowing he was to leave, it changed the whole dynamics. Knowing that in a month’s time there will be one less familiar face around, unsettled her. But only a little bit and only for a little while. It wasn’t the first time someone was to bid farewell, it wasn’t the first time love-hate relationship was brought to peaceful end by destiny, it wasn’t the first time, her feet were glued with ego, it wasn’t the first time but something was different.

We are never sure and that is good, that keeps us human. Of all the things she was sure about one; he will leave and will leave for good. And just like a phase it all will pass and from distance long enough she will look back and smile at the past. But, she realised something, all this while, the things, the people, surroundings that she had taken for granted. Her own self which she had taken for granted and had discounted her of so many things.

From all the rave parties, late night drives, stubbed cigarettes and joints, meaningless physical encounters, cracked relations and broken hearts, she realized she had taken it all for granted. She wasn’t going to be pretty all her life long, she may not enjoy good health some years down the line, her bare mind may not be able to survive this lifestyle any longer, she realized perhaps all the things she had taken herself for granted.

He left.

He didn’t say anything. There was a smile on his face but his eyes were shrunk. She didn’t say anything either.

He said, “All right, then.” (‘I will miss you. Wish we could..” He unsaid)

“Yeah, you must be getting late. Good luck and God Bless,” she said. (“You are a nice guy. Thank you for all and I will see you when I’ll see you.” She unsaid)

White cab disappeared in the cloud of dust. When it settled down, she couldn’t see him anymore but she realized something.

Have you?

Neo

Selfish as I'm

I grew up in a nice decent neighborhood.

Good upbringing - garnished with Indian Culture, values and respect for elders and bla

But we all grow up

And when we do,

There is phase between

Your parents stop worrying for you and you don’t have to worry for them

And You become parent yourself and need to worry bout your kids

This is the phase I’m in

I have loved enough people

And guess enough have loved me or made me believe they did

Little over the period, everyone learns

‘Love yourself and rest will follow’

So have I learned.

I do see the flaw in it

Perhaps as much as you can

But you see it is going to take time

Oh hell lot of time

Till then I’m just gonna be me.

And perhaps, here is where I’m me

This is my space

I know I didn’t have to fight for it,

Google gave it to me for free

But doesn’t mean anyone can intrude

Words can mean much more than anything and anyone for me in life

But they lose their meaning without space and time parameters

I’m not William Shakespeare or Dante

My words aren’t timeless

They are as mortal as I’m

Without space and time coordinates

These words don’t mean a thing

And I walk the disposable path of time and space

So those coordinates start and end with me

What you read are nothing but tangents to infinity

I can’t stress enough how much appreciate you reading my blogs

I do

Feel free to draw parallels to my tangents, be my guest.

But please don’t try and find the origin

I’m flattered to read a comment on my insane inane ranting

I know every now and then I come up with a good piece,

I do crave for compliment then

Am just human

But I don’t trade explanation in return to compliments or curiosity

You live in same space as I do but

What is real for me isn’t real for u

what we see might be the same but

my feelings are only mine and I don’t owe them

not to you, not to anyone.

Neo

Trying to pull myself away

Parting over a text message again

jet plane waiting to take you far away

from this pain

Relieve off this struggle in vain

 

I’m not even sure if I’ll see you again

 

You don’t disappoint me,

I can do that myself

 

I’m glad that you’ve come

That you’ve come through clean

 

So free yourself and me

Leave …

 

Perhaps you are already gone

Truth does have a habit of falling out of our mouth,

Well now that it is come

let go of instincts or maybe your emotions

 

Wish we could live with both of them

But it’s a shame

We can’t

 

You weren’t truthful to yourself anyway

 

Am just trying to pull myself away

 

From the pattern that I find stuck in

From the imploding rage within

From this state am in

 

Hope you know,

Rule of thumb don’t apply anymore

More you give, it asks for ever more

Find your peace across the shore

 

I’m tyring to pull myself away

Cuz I know everything comes, if you just let it be

 

neo

   

 

Little by, by little

You the people fight for your existence

Don’t’ claim to be perfect, you are just free

You dream your dreams alone

And fading like stars you wish to be

No you didn’t mean what you just said

Guess no one does

You can either be honest to your emotions or instincts

I know it sounds foolish but it is true.

Guess, my God woke up on a wrong side of his bed

But it really just doesn’t matter now

You had to give it all away

Little by ,by little

I just asked myself why are you really here?

Walking the path of time and space

Do you realize, it can’t be re-used

It can’t be walked on again?

Your actions are encapsulated in the very environment you live in

They are reflected in every breath you take and

Are pumped with every ounce of blood when your heart beats

Little by little I realize

To love myself and be assured that rest will follow

You seem to have understood this fact really well.

Even if it didn’t follow, you’ve loved your self

And have fought for what you believe you love

Rest is mere dust in the wind and water under the bridge

Little by, by little you made the mistakes

Only to realize you weren’t supposed to

Little by, by little I can see how you are blinded by your priced possessions

Possessions of flesh and bone, you’ve gathered with sweat, tears and emotions

I would love to believe that it is all worth it but

It is only little by, by little you are going to realize it isn’t

It never was.

Destiny gives everyone an opportunity to make an ass out of themselves, little by-by little

But some even want to hurry up onto those opportunities

I see the layer cake

When at the bottom, all you get is shit

Then you fight hard and climb up, you still get some shit

And the story continues until you reach the rarefied environment

So pure and so void and so lonesome when you don’t even remember how the shit even looks like…

But remember all the shit you’ve done to get there is absorbed by the very environment you live in

And is reflected in each of your breath.

My heart still beats for you people

And your karma reflects in each of my breath

And guess mine does in yours

I hope your mirror is able to wish you Good morning

Just like it did for the very first time you ever looked into it.

Neo

Emmm nice guy …. Think again

You can sweep any woman off her feet u just need the right broom…

Nothing against woman there but honestly - guys don’t need any broom, just a smile would do the trick for you ladies.

So, being nice guy isn’t about ending up last. It defiantly isn’t

It is about having the right broom but not using it

It is about knowing that you could tweak but not manipulating

It is about riding when it drizzles and

Sunshine and raindrops play hide-n-seek

Knowing that someone would enjoy riding with you as much as you would

But not taking that turn on the road to pick her up

It is about knowing the right words

But not placing them

It is about being confident

But not playing your charm

It is not about being scared of the consequences

But only of your own yourself

It is not about fucking it up

But about saving it for someone you care or you would

It is about knowing that someone fucked it all up

But still giving a second chance

It is about seeing her get buzzed

And then rather than saying “so do you wanna drop down to my place

Kicking off your bike and dropping her home

It is about hitting the road

Before C of coffee is pronounced

It is not about the missed opportunities

But about caring for other’s and in return your self respect.

Again, it is not all about being honest

But being strategically honest

It is about creating win-win scene

At the cost of you loss

Being the nice guy is not about being worried about the other side

But cherishing the thin lines

There is only so much you have

And there is only so much she knows…

It is about lying trough your tears

And it is about knowing you were saint

But now you’ve a past

And knowing you are a sinner

But being sure you’ve a future, better than most of them…

Again, it is about wearing it all on your sleeves

And not caring if you lose it

It is about having the right broom

But not using it.

Being a nice guy,

It really isn’t tough, but it takes a lot.

Nice guy, think again.

It is only so much that you know

And so much that you don’t

If you think it is for you then perhaps this is for you …

Just accept it all the same.

And I’m giving it all away.

Neo.