Dec, 08

It is that time of the year, when there is chill in the wind but you want to feel it on your dry nose and sleepy eyes, when the sun rises a little late and sun rays get filtered through the mist and though your routine doesn’t change much you still enjoy the slowed down pace and rising festivity in the surroundings.

For him, it is that time of the year too. When rather than rushing to office, he would like to cuddle up and snooze for some more time. Wake up to the smell of a coffee and toast, go for walks, spend lingering evenings in someone’s company and well you know what…

Probably it is just his theory, this seems to be the fragile time of the year wherein hooking up seems to be the only logical thing (wonder which organ is doing the thinking but). It is just his theory.

Addicted to TV shows such as Prison Break, Dexter, Heroes, Lost, it has him thinking life comes in seasons. Each lasting a year with 12, 52 or 365 episodes and probably this is the time of year to wind up yet another season.

Last year, around this time, he was thinking about visas, back packing Europe all over again, vacation in the Black Forest, concerts to attend and well new years and yeah a quarter of international exposure. New year seemed to have topped his agenda which included begging for someone credit card to book flight tickets to some place thousand kilometres away, reshuffling flights and going broke. All, for what he thought is to shape up into something.

This time around, year is drawing to an end and he isn’t really looking for parties though he knows it isn’t tough to find one. He isn’t planning a trip anywhere, happily sunk in the blanket of his laziness he doesn’t plan on going broke or berserk, but then he had planned it so last time around as well.

He just got back in time in office to relieve other colleagues to happy year ending holidays while he intends to man the fort with aching back and blank mind. Mind stuck somewhere in his home town. Stuck in those three weeks holiday which just passed by. Nothing special happened; he didn’t go anywhere other than visiting three doctors and attending some weddings. Although, time spent by the sea face, breaking onto the terrace of his college and long, aimless drives with a couple of friends is what he treasured the most from this trip.

Saving and investment advice from parents, queries about future plans, marriage proposals from some so called well-wishers at marriages he attended, a quick meeting with his brother, dropping by his x’s house, passing those cafes and clubs and food joints and a little reckless visit to a psychologist were the dots he was still trying to connect in the past few days.

He remembered what his friend said at Hard Rock café, Mumbai, ‘Know the things that really matter and the ones which don’t. And don’t be in a race with your peers. Don’t chase your friend, compete against yourself. But for now, down your beer.’ And he downed it.

A lot is on his mind. Had it to do something with what happened to his city in November. Or the way year had turned out? He could be anywhere in the world, but he is still there, where he was the last time around at this time of the year...reeling the twelfth episode of the 24^th season or reviewing the pilot for the season 25.

Neo

Where do they go?

If other than oxygen there is one thing that you can’t avoid while you get through the day, it is the ‘people’

You see them

Meet them

Hear them

Have a chat, crack a joke and laugh with them

Out of these numerous faces around

Walking and talking, Breathing and sweating some appeal more than the others

You like some over the others

Well you also have illusions that you love some…

You take a few steps with them and take some more

Hope that these would be like footsteps in the sand of the time

The more you take, more you shall leave behind

And yeah they are steps in the sand

However, water from the sea washes them off moment you set your foot forward

Memories at times are like a FIFO stack in computers (first in first out)

Pilled under huge stack of other memories and other people…

And so the life goes on

Till one day, something just goes missing

Something somewhere stops

Just like you clicked with people

You probably unclick

As smoothly as they became integral part of your life,

They slide away even more smoothly

You have them on your yahoo or gmail address book but don’t know if their account are still active

You’ve their numbers but don’t know if they are still in the same city

You’ve their digital footprints in your inbox but you let forwards and useless advertisements pile up on them

They are on your mind but there is only so much you can process at a time…

They are mentioned over a few beers and drinking stories or as ‘one of my friends’ over soul searching instances

Until..

An awkward smile at a grocery shop

A confused glance at a pub

A familiar voice over a conference

Or a brushing of shoulders at a movie theatre

Makes you wonder…

Aren’t these people just like steps in the sand…

More you take – more you leave behind…

Where do they go?

Guess back to the sea of faces they belong to…

Neo

Quantum Of So-Less

Much talked about sequel to the Casino Royale, movie 'Quantum Of Solace' starring Daniel Craig and the new bond girl Olga Kuryelenko, finally hits the screen and after having watched the same trailer hundreds of times, I rushed for the movie with my friends.

Now, if you were thrilled by the ‘on the foot chase’ from Casino Royale, you will be on the edge of your seat when Quantum kicks off with an Aston Martin snaking through the hilly roads in Italy while being chased by the bad guys. Insane car chase with Mr. White locked in the boot of the car is simply stunning. It felt rewarding to have watched Casino Royale before heading out to the theatre.

Things turn out, ‘well not exactly as expected’ while interrogating Mr. White and it leads to another very well pictured chase, which leads our double O to yet another lead and to another lead and from one dead man to another.

All that agent M and we know by the time we get to the half is that there is something, someone and some organisation which is much bigger than what we’ve seen or imagined. It is out there and elite secret services don’t know anything about it.

In the course of time, Olga Kuryelenko is introduced elegantly. If you are hoping for some action from the new, bold bond girl, I’m sorry but you’ll be let down. Bond is after the bad guys and is working his way brick by brick and lead by lead. When all of a sudden MI6 decides to bring him in and restrict his movement. That is when Bond goes back to Mathis and seeks help.

This venture leads him to Bolivia and that much closer to the bad guys and their plot. Mr. Green, Bolivian dictator, compromised CIA agents and if time permits then Bond is after guys who killed Vesper as well…feeling I get.

James Bond claims, time and time over again that he isn’t driven by vengeance or revenge. He is only answering to the call of his duty. But Bond not being able to get sleep at nights, Mathis and Camille (Olga) reminding him about Vesper and asking him to let himself free are the clues that he isn’t over Vesper and probably, something more than duty is driving him to go after the bad guys. As an audience, one may get confused as to If bond is going to have to fight the bad guys to protect the royal grace and the crown and in the course of time a side mission would be to take out the guys who killed Vesper.

Well, as bond advances towards the bad guys the death toll increases. Things speed up and cars roll and guns fire. The regular stuff and it continues till the end.

The background score is good; action scenes and chase sequences are of supreme quality, exotic locations and face off with newer and more sophisticated villains.

However, our double O seems to be getting more of a broken hearted revengeful, confused, lover boy.

Bond was after Le Chiffre in the Royale and other than the call from M during which she tells Bond that organization behind Le Chiffre kidnapped Vesper’s boyfriend and did all that they did.

We do get glimpses of ‘that organization’ and we hope to see that organization shape up and be defined by its body and activity but I guess we are going to have to wait a little bit longer. Newly promoted 007 might need some more time and creators of the movie some more bandwidth to figure out what that organization is all about.

After having waited for two years for this movie, walking out of theatre I felt, I want to go to sleep and only wake up when the next one is out.

However, no smart and cheeky gadgets, Bond goes to bed with just one woman, not a lot of wits and charming by the Bond, relationship between M and double O becoming more of a Mother-son kind and closest Olga Kuryelenko comes to action is a peck on bond’s lips and some shouting and inane shooting and flashing ramp looks…just the facts.

However, it is a 007 movie so feel free to knock yourself off.

Neo

Other Side

When the light through the windowpane makes it impossible to keep the eyelids closed and twisting and turning in the bed comes to end, I open my eyes and check the time. It is one in the noon and second thing I notice is stiff and frozen muscles and splitting headache, symptoms of inevitable disease known as ‘hangover.’

I drag my ass off the bed to the washroom. Splashing water on face and cleaning eyes, I notice a stamp on my right wrist. I hold my wrist up see the blur blue inked stamp in the mirror. “Ahh, that is where I was.” And other thing that it reminds is who I was with, you know.

Wait, I didn’t plan to start Sunday like this but then I’m not complaining either. Saturday noon I did the regular stuff. Cleaned up apartment a bit, washed some shirts, made some food and read up a bit and watched TV. Later I met up with a friend and somehow just a friendly catch up shot off to tangents such as life and what is it that matters in life, we did some loud thinking and some retrospection. It was getting a little too heavy for Saturday night. And then rung my cell phone…roomie asked, “Whats up bro? What plans?”

Yeah right, so I don’t happen to be the most social, party prone and the fun person, so my calendar for weekends is an empty slate (most of the times). So this party comes along in this plush club and this kind man gifts me name on the guest-list, ‘A’ list as he would like to call it.

Simple white t-shirt, blue denim and shoes and bike keys and we are off. As people start trickling in, we get into the club. Nice and low seating sofas, mini bars sprung up across the club, glittery dance floor and something that every party needs, ‘abundance of pretty faces.’

I remember first hour when I just sat down there and downed my beer. Later, got to talking with some folks and I remembers downing shots in the name of good times and new friendships formed. What followed after that was something, let us just say, I was new to it.

Now, I’ve two left feet so normally I look for a girl with two right feet so we could dance. And more often than not it has either been the girl I was dating or a very good friend. First case, she doesn’t have much of a choice and later, I don’t have much of a choice. This time was something different. Another shot and then dance floor.

I stood there like I needed directions to the toilet and I couldn’t read the language. Which is not exaggeration because I was looking for some space to dance, some association and wasn’t able to follow the music at all.

I got my directions when someone held me by my hand and all I had to do was just follow (to start with). Well, after that there wasn’t looking back. Alcohol has been Mankind’s best friend and it didn’t betray. Music picked up, dance partner was fun and we made space where we could dance.

It only improved with every passing number, every gulping drink. Things I said then I can’t remember now, but whatever I can remember is absurdly stupid. However, it just seemed fitting and well, seems to have worked as well, had a good time after all.

Long drive, spinning head, someone’s head on my shoulder, me choosing to catch glimpses of Lamborghini over start gazing with someone, elegantly dressed girls, exchange of numbers, drunken sms-ing and good byes and roomie riding both of us home is what I kind of remember.

I blink my eyes and look at the image of the stamp in the mirror and the guy in the mirror smirks at me, saying “Welcome to the other side.”

Neo

…and We remained 12 hours apart…

After waiting for half an hour, at 8:30, I finally swiped my card in and walked up to the bay. Took off my shirt, signed against the canoe I was taking in and I hit the water.

I always find myself into the rush to row wider and stronger and faster in order to get away from the shore as quickly as possible. And I enjoy it because it gives a kind of rush of blood and flexing of muscles so fast, am often close to getting a cramp but I love it anyways. Once, I rowed my way in, I relaxed a bit and found my rhythm. And once me and my canoe were one and ore was cutting water just as smooth, my mind couldn’t help but wonder - why didn’t she come?

I had met her a day before. Nahh, I mean we’d known each other for over a three years (or two as she would like to correct me) from the days when I was still in Germany. A quiet face, brownish short hair over her forehead, and comforting yet mysterious smile on her lips, flawless blue eyes and elegant eyebrows- yeah, I can still remember. Two years had gone by and none of us had bothered to get in touch, why should one. It was probably an evening or a workshop that we did together. I sure noticed her back then but I’d noticed her friend more, so to say.

Well, I was excited to meet after so long. I thought of it more so that she is in my city and if was in hers, she would show me around and that is what I’m going to do. Just like another Job. I’ve spent at least five of my weekends showing people around and have got some of my dearest friends and acquaintances out of that and it is cool thing. I get to know a little more about my own city. So, I was up for it.

I walked into Café Leopold. It wasn’t full but there were a lot of tourists and I was wondering if we would recognise each other at all. Turns out, it is still not possible for someone like her to go unnoticed. She was writing her diary, sitting at the right corner table, black coloured salwar-kurta, same good old short hair, pretty eyes and spark in her smile. Very formally, I said hello in my possible German dialect and I settled down on the chair in front of her. She still looked very pretty and this time with a subtle sense of peace in every-bit that she came across. But somehow, I wasn’t going to compliment her. Just a thing you know, you don’t want to go ga ga about someone just within in five minutes of seeing them. Let us just call it a guy thing for the moment.

We walked around. I did my routine, Gateway of India, docks, Bombay Stock Exchange, Fountain, Churchgate, High Court building and back to Regal theatre. While I wasn’t explaining something about the place, I was listening to her story. Which was like yours and mine, but for the fact that she had been on the road from January and she has been pretty much all over the world, from South America to New Zealand, Laos to Varanasi, Agra to Kanyakumari.

While we stopped at Mondegar’s to have our lunch. I completely stepped out of my guide’s shoe and we could really catch up. Surprisingly, we spoke a lot and said a lot as well. Now I knew a little more than before. In her words, ‘I knew that she wasn’t that kind of person and She wasn’t that kind of girl.’ I guessed, I had rest of the afternoon and then probably the evening to figure out those two ‘thats.’

Then we rode up to VT, Xaviers’ College, Metro, Marine Lines, Churchgate and then to the lands end at Nariman Point. And we just hung around by the sea face. We watched people, skyline of Bombay, fancy cars passing by, people walking, breathing, talking, sweating, talking on phones, crossing roads, shopping…we just let the life of the city sink in.

She asked, if we were going to party anytime. And I nodded.

Left the bike and home and we took on street by foot.

We walked up all the way up from Choupati to Nariman Point by the sea. We decided to make a quick pit-stop and sit by the sea-face for a while and we ended up hanging around there for an hour and then back on feet. Very soon we ended up at Mondy’s, now Café Mondegar(Mondy’s) has become a phenomenon for me or rather a synonym for ‘Good Times’ and well that day wasn’t an exception. We sat in, downed some beers, scribbled on tissue papers, put in coins to play songs on Juke box and met some people. We left only when they decided to shut down.

No one wanted to go home so we walked past assembly house to the sea. Alcohol does help you get over some inhibitions and talk a little more than you otherwise. So it did. We just lazed around till early morning, laughed for no good reason, starred at the horizon in the dark and heard the bikes and cars breeze by. Then I walked her back to her guest-house and she asked if we were still on for rowing in the sea next day. We agreed to meet up at 8 o’clock and then just a long silent stare and then I left.

She thought it was 8 pm and it was apparent to me that it has to be 8am to be able to row in the sea.

Well, that is why I probably waited for half and hour. But now I’m hitting the water.

I remember, she told me bout this guy she met in a pub on some evening and then how they were the only ones left to leave when the sun rose. Twelve hours, did she say ?

I couldn’t help but think…

Well, I met her following day in the evening and as both of us were a little short on money we just hung around. Walked, talked, and grabbed an ice-cream and some road-side food. I remember when in Bombay, an hour doesn’t pass without looking at the watch half a dozen times, but this time around the time check was courtesy Mom, dad and all the friends whom I was still to meet. They kept buzzing on my cell-phone.

It only got clearer that time is something; we never have it on our side.

Wine, dine, walks, rides and well hours and hours spent talking and sometime just thinking, grinning and smiling, just felt like a routine, I didn’t want to let go off.

So here was the deal, I couldn’t get in touch with her and she could. So, there wasn’t a lot of room for being spontaneous, even if I was around where was she was staying, there was no way to get in touch with her. Well, it works both ways, if you don’t know if you are going to meet the person again or not, you make most of the time you’ve got and other way, you know it…

So, she buzzed later on in the day and we met up at Regal. I happened to reach early and thought I could take her out for movie and so I got tickets. Turns out she really wanted to see that one and I just smiled like I could read her mind, whereas I had no damn clue…bout nothing.

That was the last evening, next day by that time, I was to be in the bus headed towards Hyd. Only consolation was I hate to be the one driving back from the Airport, so I much rather be on the flight (errr…on the Bus).

We sat and watched the fireflies in the sky and I joked that the city was bidding farewell to her. She was on the road for last nine months, she had travelled over ten countries and met tones of people and this was her last stop before heading back home. Just makes things interesting. You always have lots to talk about lots. Not to mention, I could practice a bit of my German.

For someone who hasn’t been on holidays in the last seven month and for whom 9 to 6pm has been the schedule and life was defined in by nothing but the sum 5+2, spending such a refreshing time with someone was …well beyond all the words that you read so far…

We met up in yet another of my favourite café, she slide the printout of our photograph and a lighter that she had carried with her for last nine months and I slide across an envelope, contents of which I leave to your imagination.

We walked a mile. And I heard myself saying, “So, Das wars.”..means so that was it..

She smiled and we hugged.

And we parted, no one looked back or maybe someone did…

Neo

Pigments of Imperfection

Some pick their nose, some can’t help but adjust their hair moment they see a mirror or a glass, some have to keep clearing their throat, some can’t live without useless fillers such as ‘infact’ ‘actually’ ‘emmm, Ya, but’ and so on, some can’t resist continuously cleaning and wiping their mobile, wrist-watch or glasses, some can’t help but scratch, fidget or blink. I can’t help but check half a dozen times if the padlock is locked properly.

 

I was supposed to pick up a friend of mine this afternoon and I was late. Rushed out of house and was locking my apartment. I kept my helmet and bike keys aside and was putting the padlock on. Turned the key and pressed the lock. Done. Emmm, not really. Had to check a couple of times before stepping out of complex.

 

I counted One, two, three. “Emm, yeah it is locked.” Take a couple of steps to left and I feel, I should probably check it once more because I’m going to be gone for like a whole day. I repeat the drill. And just as I’m supposed to scoot, my friends calls up to tell me he’ll be late. While on the phone, I manage to catch glimpses of these fellas across the building, sitting on chairs with legs on the railing- literally laughing at me.

 

I didn’t know how to react so I opened the lock again and darted inside. Huhhh….I was probably insanely angry and wanted to shout back at them and in a second I realized, I was the one to blame. It was embarrassing enough to imagine see someone jerk the padlock thrice to see if it was locked or not. I completely understood the reason behind the heart-full laugh those guys just had.

 

I killed half an hour and it was time to leave. I got out of the apartment. I could still see those dear onlookers across the building. Probably, there was an addition of a couple to the total. I had decided, turn the key, press the lock and scoot. Scoot like a thief. I did exactly so. And guess what, as I rushed to get down the staircase, I hear applaud. And just as I turned to get down the stairs, I received a standing ovation.

 

“Cheeky, smart bastards,” is what I must have gritted. But out came an embarrassed awkward grin.

 

Thinking bout it now, am still grinning, probably a lil more comfortably.

 

Well these are imperfections which make us humans. Just like the others, just like the ones across the building, across the road, across the globe. They put us into situations we don’t know how to react or handle. These things embarrass us but more often than not at our cost a dozen people smile, laugh and giggle.

 

I don’t remember my tenth grade marks. I don’t remember my first salary. In few years, I won’t remember how it felt to receive first promotion, but these incidences caused due to the imperfections are the ones that probably most of us are going to remember over a long time.

 

Neo 

What say

What did Pi say to Square root of -1



"Get Real"

How did it get back at Pi???
"Dude, Be Rational"

Drill

Well, these days we have drills and guidebooks for everything. From cracking an exam, impressing women, making million dollars sitting at your home, scamming, and corning to those safety drills and emergency evacuation drills. Our very nature and obsession to control and rehearse everything possible continues to drive me crazy.

Emergency alarm goes out, someone listening to Menson or MegaDeath at full volume also couldn’t have unheard the alarm. Half of them new exact time when the alarm would go out and rest knew anytime in next two hours it would. Half ready to evacuate and quarter of them checking their watches every five minutes and rest either staring at their liquid crystal displays and hitting keystrokes after keystrokes for greater good or because they were just as idle as me.

We run. We evacuate. Some take photographs. Some laugh. Some gossip. Some crib. Some get much awaited chance to strike a conversation. Some chatter on phone. Some watch. Some are still lost. I, I want to go home.

I can’t help but watch people. It is addictive I tell you. It amuses me to see how amongst thousands of people, they slowly start gravitating towards one another or in other words get repelled from some other ones and others. Folks up the food chain seem to settle down in a corner, checking if their latest Van Heusen didn’t catch some grease from the emergency evacuation, if the shoe polish is still ok, if the expensive scarf is still intact. Social butterflies just can’t seem to get enough of action. So excited they need to probably text it to their mates who probably work around the same complex. Disastrously good looking girls, I mean the ones who know that they make heads turn, start drifting to one side of the field. Gossip junkies won’t let a minute go to waste. On the other corner, you see folks desperately waiting for their next nicotine stick, discussing if it would be alright to light one while the guy on the stage explains types of fires and demonstrates how to extinguish fire. You see the working class, the cleaning and maintenance staff hanging by the fence, probably looking at us and smirking, bunch of so called intellectuals dressed as such a real life misfits. Security doing rounds, who has probably worked hardest for this ten minutes evacuation drill. Eternally lost, cynical, sarcastic social misfit like me standing by the side and watching…

Watch as thousand people breathe and sweat and yap in the small front yard. Stare as they laugh or frown.

What they or no one understands is when one of the five elements decides to pull the switch. You are not going to gravitate, you are not going to drift, you won’t have time to laugh or frown. You will run. Crowd won’t have a face. You won’t know whose lips, ears, groin or eyes you’ll be stamping on. You won’t know whose blood you have on your Ritu Kumar or Peter England. When smoke fills up the floor and you can’t see the ones working a few cubicles away, you won’t hear any voices but just the chaos. And the thing about chaos is, it’s fair. It doesn’t have a face, doesn’t leave one behind, just the scars.

At least then we won’t drift socio-economically or pseudo-intellectually.

Now, that’s a drill. We just need a push.

Neo

Crash

It seemed like just an ordinary day. Cousin was leaving to go back to his air-base at Bidar. We had had a nice weekend. We partied a lot, some heart to heart talk took place, blew a bit of money and we were all set to bid good-bye.

I was riding him back to bus stand.

An annoying truck was leaking water from its top and was spitting unbearable black smoke and incidentally we were riding bumper to bumper behind that truck. If you ask me now, I would still say, “I thought I would make it, just in time. Overtake the truck before any vehicle came from the other-side and sail smoothly after that.

I agree I made a dash and what I didn’t account for was, the truck might just shift a bit to its right and the girl in a green top and brown skirt walking close to sidewalk, might just decide to swing her basket right to left and drift towards the road. As we dashed closer, I realized it wasn’t to be, I won’t make it.

I screeched onto my breaks. Emm…we were in moderate speed and there were enough tiny granular particles on the road to skid the bike when I clinched onto breaks.

I don’t know what exactly happened. I fell on my right side, with the bike, sliding a little bit further into the mud towards side-walk. The whole thing came to stand-still for me when my helmet covered head rested on the ground, with my body parallel to fallen bike and nose right opposite to spinning front wheel. That was the moment when I closed my eyes. Exhaled and realized what had happened and then opened them again.

I could see a couple of men running up towards us. I didn’t know yet what had happened to my cousin. I found out later he had a tiny bruise and he was a little luckier, he didn’t fall down. No, my entire life didn’t flash before my eyes. One is too shocked in a situation like this for the whole life to flash by. When you fall down and the shock waves pierce through your tattered clothes, bruised skin, hampered tissue layers and through your bones, up until your senses, you often take a while to realize what has happened. Until the blood from my elbow dripped onto my sandals, I didn’t realize I was bleeding. But when I did, it was time to hit back home asap and clean up.

Well, bleeding didn’t stop, we rushed to hospital. As I walked limping towards Dr. Bevin, he probably knew, there was something up my sleeve. Well, there was, a bleeding wound. I couldn’t even shake hands properly; he just raised his eyebrows and adjusted his specs to have a better look that meant I spill the beans…

He asked me to go to ER and requested a nurse to clean me up and he shall have a look.

Turns out, I’ve a puncture wound. To help me understand, he said “It is like a Gun shot. Just that you went and jumped on the stand-still bullet (foreign body) at the speed of 30-40kmph.”

I’m waiting now, to hear from the Surgeon on further course of action.

As much, I’m worried about bruised knees, tainted black-bluish-reddish shoulder, my puncture wound, worried but angry parents, pending projects at office, solitary confinement in my apartment for coming days, I’m more worried because of the certified rash driver that I’ve become.

Neo

Pact

The word is perfect and spelled correctly but it is incomplete with out the preposition, The Pact. And this can be understood by those who have made the pacts and stood by them and by those who made the pacts when so few owed so much to so many, pacts made with a smile on the face when the other person asked nothing less but simply the world out of someone else and by those who didn’t mistake the meaning of this word for sacrifice.

He understands the word ‘as well.’

Like very few, he left most important things to destiny. Or as they say to the chance… He wasn’t the rounder who would let himself land up in a mess and wait on the river card to be drawn to decide his fate. But he did wait for destiny to play its last hand.

They met by chance and he believed if they were to meet again, they would anyways. At a stage in life we all feel ‘we’ve been there and have done that’ and he didn’t want to fight that feeling but he didn’t mind waiting until the chips fell where they were supposed to. He ran into her again and surprisingly they kicked off just as well. He treasured her smile just as much she loved his presence.

Coming closer to each other is the journey unfortunately each individual has to cover with their own vehicle, driven by their will and fuelled with emotions and commitment. He could see her balancing act of managing her feet on wobbly stones with her hand stretched out. But by then he had already jumped into the lifeboat with just the bare minimum.

Time passed, days gave way to the weeks and weeks to the months. She found her land; her hand was still stretched out but out of obligation. All he had were stormy waters and she now asked for mountains. He didn’t want to lean on until the fall. And he chose not to.

He didn’t utter those three magical words even as he walked her home for the last time. He made a pact that night, never to lean on, never to mention it what he whole heartedly meant, not until she read it and destiny heard it.

Wise people could break the rule and call it an exception and get away with it. However, even today as he heard from her after ages, even a person as insane as him couldn’t be a traitor to break the pact. Could he be?

Neo

Wage your wars but never fight your battles

Hey folks, I’ll be honestly confused as I’ve been all through out my posts. This sentence (Wage your wars but never fight your battles) could be a pseudo-intellectual wisecrack or it could really develop into a write up. It has been doing rounds in my head but somehow couldn’t get too far on paper.

Why don’t you drop me a line or two as comments as to what ripples this line creates in your mind. If it strikes any chords at all, if it means or hints towards anything at all…

Would be really nice…

Waiting to hear from you …

Neo

Strum

Just the sound of that word is elegant enough to remind you of some things.

It is surprising though that you can’t use that word otherwise. You need to strum a string instrument. It is like this, you either drink the water in the glass or you don’t. There is nothing like trying. You either strum or you don’t

And with guitar you can’t help but adjust the body of it on one of your thighs, grip the guitar, move your left hand gently over the frets and sparing bridge your right hand settles near the sound hole and even before you know, you’ve strummed the guitar.

I remember, someone tried to teach me how to play guitar and I also remember someone telling me, if it isn’t in your blood, it just isn’t.

Having seen the cool dudes strum a six string at Barista and have the girl they wanted, I’ve wanted to learn the guitar for various reasons. To impress someone, or to make a point to someone, to prove someone wrong, for being able to play the song someone once played for me or even for the plain kick of knowing how to play at least one instrument. There are so many, I can’t count.

Of all the reasons one that never left me was to be able to communicate my self, to express without any words, to seal smile, depression, anger, hate, pain and love..seal all of them in chords and play it, say it, express it.

I am still stupid enough to think that someday, I’ll put my own rhymes to a tune. I’ll play well enough that I’ll not have to utter a word. Some day, I’ll watch people playing invisible guitar from the stage, some day I’ll learn how to make mere piece of wood n metal strings an extended part of your body, someday I’ll know…

But until then it isn’t like picking up the glass and drinking water. It is a distant dream, perhaps too good to come true, perhaps am just a coward to go after something for the simple fear of failing or feeling like a dog, you know, a dog won’t know what to do if it actually caught the car it was chasing, maybe much better you enjoyed the chase.

Ahhh dam it, what the hell, none in this café has a spare guitar on them.

“Dude, cm’on can’t you get me one? Just for now…”

Neo

….,” Dad Said

It is one of those days, when you completely take your family for granted and don’t think twice before beeping them on their cell phones. With all friends gone and party over, I felt utterly lonesome and without thinking twice I shamelessly called up dad.

Well, one odd occasion when instead of dad catching you partying late, you catch him having a couple of drinks. “Well, son, we are just out catching up on a couple o drinks after completion of this project. You tell me what is new on your front. Heard you’ve been partying in B’lore over the last weekend.”

Well, I had been. I was awfully silent and said, “Sorry, dad, I’ll catch you later. Continue.” Huhhh, to my utter surprise (or maybe not) he said, “Stop giving me these candyfloss wrapped lines. Tell me what happened?”

“Nothing, just a lil lonely. Bored perhaps, I don’t know. Friends left, friends leaving. You know how it is.”

He sipped on his drink and said, “Remember, we used to go rowing and canoeing. Half way through, we would drop our ores and just lay calm in our canoes. You sometime would even close your eyes and lay down. When you opened your eyes and found your canoe drifted meters away from mine, you would get terrified and scream at me. As to how I could let it drift. Sooner or later, you got good at canoeing, you had no fear of the water and you grew comfortable with a bit of loneliness, and you were just fine. I don’t remember, you waiting for me to drop ores. I remember, even on stormy days just in the middle of June, you would go all alone canoeing.”

“This is how it is, two planks, two canoes – let loose in the sea, come closer and rub against each other for a while. But for how long they’ll stick on no one knows. It is just like that, row while you can, lay low when you are tired, make those waves your companions, you won’t be alone. As far as brushing against other canoe is concerned, it is just a tide away. Hold on.”

“Ok, Ba. I get it. You carry on. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Nite son.”

Neo

Podding Couples

My job is of the guy, who does classification… you know the guy who puts things into boxes. Somehow, he has to have an opinion about the product he sees. It is required. And is it strange to see our jobs rub onto our lives?

See, a insurance policy agent, he will always try and sell it to you, may that be an idea, his advice or anything at all. A perfect housewife ( homemaker to be politically correct) would enrich you with homely and stabilizing perspective on no matter what…

So just like that, when I see by-products of our global, jet setting, fast food-fast date-fast die lifestyle, it is nothing but a co-curricular activity to classify it. So, this time these by-products happen to be couple. You know…

Convenient Couples:

They know what they are in it for. Simple and Straight. Clinical and on the face value. Resulting in fast and convenient volatile motion of preferences.

Chipkoo Couples:

The ones which are perfect props for fevi-quick advertisements. Jesus, I get bored of myself sometime, don’t know how people can’t get enough of each other. They are together over breakfast, lunch, tea-coffee breaks,(over loo breaks if they could but…well)

Compartmentalized Couples:

A very special and premium breed. Consciously keeping personal and professional life separate. No lunches – no coffees within the premises. Brilliant guys. Respect.

“Lekin mein… Suno too…. Hann par mein, wohh….. Aakash ke ghar!... Copules

Ahh easy fellas. These are the easiest to spot, a guy would always walk around with an apologetic gesture and glance towards heavens to ask what have I got myself into again but taken extreme satisfaction in the whole ‘making up to you’ game.

Weekend Couples:

Life in a strange city can be boring and specially over the weekends and what best way to kill boredom that be with people. So you might see these folks little more frequently over the weekends as compared to normal days.

Troubled Couples:

You wonder because you see them fight more than be at peace.

Confused Couples:

“Nahh, we are just friends.” Yes those ones.

The Cute ones…

There is nothing logical that can explain why you find them ‘just about perfect’ Some folks, you find yourself at most comfortable with, you can share the smile with them. End of the day you might just say, “Man, there is something about them…kinda cute.”

Now, don’t be mad at the onlooker. He is just one of you, maybe with a bit cynical but realistic, compassionate but a lil dark perspective on the situation.

Neo

Have You?

He called at an odd hour, “I’m leaving. At max a month. Just wanted to let you know.”

She knew as much as he did and you could have guessed, it was definitely lil more than ‘just letting know.’

She smiled for him. Said, what people say on such phone calls and hung up.

Sometimes, life is too long for us to handle, too fast for us to keep pace with and too slippery for us to hold on to. Sooner or later we start taking things for granted. Just like it is certainty that Sun will rise from East and will eventually settle on west, you are sure that you’ll see all these people tomorrow as well over the breakfast, in lobby, over lunch, in some meetings, at some club or on street and sometimes at railway stations and airport. Sometimes, because of sheer coincidences or because of created coincidences…

But, the whole dynamics changes when someone is to leave and leave for good. All of sudden her mind reeled back into past. There was a flashback of all the events and incidences passed between them. As the cab took familiar turns, passed regular eating joints and clubs and movie halls, she couldn’t help but think about the time that passed so fast, maybe none of them could have realised.

Knowing he was to leave, it changed the whole dynamics. Knowing that in a month’s time there will be one less familiar face around, unsettled her. But only a little bit and only for a little while. It wasn’t the first time someone was to bid farewell, it wasn’t the first time love-hate relationship was brought to peaceful end by destiny, it wasn’t the first time, her feet were glued with ego, it wasn’t the first time but something was different.

We are never sure and that is good, that keeps us human. Of all the things she was sure about one; he will leave and will leave for good. And just like a phase it all will pass and from distance long enough she will look back and smile at the past. But, she realised something, all this while, the things, the people, surroundings that she had taken for granted. Her own self which she had taken for granted and had discounted her of so many things.

From all the rave parties, late night drives, stubbed cigarettes and joints, meaningless physical encounters, cracked relations and broken hearts, she realized she had taken it all for granted. She wasn’t going to be pretty all her life long, she may not enjoy good health some years down the line, her bare mind may not be able to survive this lifestyle any longer, she realized perhaps all the things she had taken herself for granted.

He left.

He didn’t say anything. There was a smile on his face but his eyes were shrunk. She didn’t say anything either.

He said, “All right, then.” (‘I will miss you. Wish we could..” He unsaid)

“Yeah, you must be getting late. Good luck and God Bless,” she said. (“You are a nice guy. Thank you for all and I will see you when I’ll see you.” She unsaid)

White cab disappeared in the cloud of dust. When it settled down, she couldn’t see him anymore but she realized something.

Have you?

Neo

Selfish as I'm

I grew up in a nice decent neighborhood.

Good upbringing - garnished with Indian Culture, values and respect for elders and bla

But we all grow up

And when we do,

There is phase between

Your parents stop worrying for you and you don’t have to worry for them

And You become parent yourself and need to worry bout your kids

This is the phase I’m in

I have loved enough people

And guess enough have loved me or made me believe they did

Little over the period, everyone learns

‘Love yourself and rest will follow’

So have I learned.

I do see the flaw in it

Perhaps as much as you can

But you see it is going to take time

Oh hell lot of time

Till then I’m just gonna be me.

And perhaps, here is where I’m me

This is my space

I know I didn’t have to fight for it,

Google gave it to me for free

But doesn’t mean anyone can intrude

Words can mean much more than anything and anyone for me in life

But they lose their meaning without space and time parameters

I’m not William Shakespeare or Dante

My words aren’t timeless

They are as mortal as I’m

Without space and time coordinates

These words don’t mean a thing

And I walk the disposable path of time and space

So those coordinates start and end with me

What you read are nothing but tangents to infinity

I can’t stress enough how much appreciate you reading my blogs

I do

Feel free to draw parallels to my tangents, be my guest.

But please don’t try and find the origin

I’m flattered to read a comment on my insane inane ranting

I know every now and then I come up with a good piece,

I do crave for compliment then

Am just human

But I don’t trade explanation in return to compliments or curiosity

You live in same space as I do but

What is real for me isn’t real for u

what we see might be the same but

my feelings are only mine and I don’t owe them

not to you, not to anyone.

Neo

Trying to pull myself away

Parting over a text message again

jet plane waiting to take you far away

from this pain

Relieve off this struggle in vain

 

I’m not even sure if I’ll see you again

 

You don’t disappoint me,

I can do that myself

 

I’m glad that you’ve come

That you’ve come through clean

 

So free yourself and me

Leave …

 

Perhaps you are already gone

Truth does have a habit of falling out of our mouth,

Well now that it is come

let go of instincts or maybe your emotions

 

Wish we could live with both of them

But it’s a shame

We can’t

 

You weren’t truthful to yourself anyway

 

Am just trying to pull myself away

 

From the pattern that I find stuck in

From the imploding rage within

From this state am in

 

Hope you know,

Rule of thumb don’t apply anymore

More you give, it asks for ever more

Find your peace across the shore

 

I’m tyring to pull myself away

Cuz I know everything comes, if you just let it be

 

neo

   

 

Little by, by little

You the people fight for your existence

Don’t’ claim to be perfect, you are just free

You dream your dreams alone

And fading like stars you wish to be

No you didn’t mean what you just said

Guess no one does

You can either be honest to your emotions or instincts

I know it sounds foolish but it is true.

Guess, my God woke up on a wrong side of his bed

But it really just doesn’t matter now

You had to give it all away

Little by ,by little

I just asked myself why are you really here?

Walking the path of time and space

Do you realize, it can’t be re-used

It can’t be walked on again?

Your actions are encapsulated in the very environment you live in

They are reflected in every breath you take and

Are pumped with every ounce of blood when your heart beats

Little by little I realize

To love myself and be assured that rest will follow

You seem to have understood this fact really well.

Even if it didn’t follow, you’ve loved your self

And have fought for what you believe you love

Rest is mere dust in the wind and water under the bridge

Little by, by little you made the mistakes

Only to realize you weren’t supposed to

Little by, by little I can see how you are blinded by your priced possessions

Possessions of flesh and bone, you’ve gathered with sweat, tears and emotions

I would love to believe that it is all worth it but

It is only little by, by little you are going to realize it isn’t

It never was.

Destiny gives everyone an opportunity to make an ass out of themselves, little by-by little

But some even want to hurry up onto those opportunities

I see the layer cake

When at the bottom, all you get is shit

Then you fight hard and climb up, you still get some shit

And the story continues until you reach the rarefied environment

So pure and so void and so lonesome when you don’t even remember how the shit even looks like…

But remember all the shit you’ve done to get there is absorbed by the very environment you live in

And is reflected in each of your breath.

My heart still beats for you people

And your karma reflects in each of my breath

And guess mine does in yours

I hope your mirror is able to wish you Good morning

Just like it did for the very first time you ever looked into it.

Neo