These days there has been a new addition to seasonal events one needs to keep an eye out for. Now, in addition to F1, European football, Tennis; you need to keep an eye out for the wedding season. This season is all the more vital for ones stepping up from just there to feast on to free deserts to armatures or rather to bes.
I for one didn’t attend these weddings for deserts. It was my best friend from college getting married and last of the first cousins from Mum’s side tying a knot. Friend, I believe the best a man could be. Polite, gentleman, tall, fair, tennis player, avid photographer and latest in the league of Investment bankers, going by his popularity from college days, there was only one way his demand curve was moving – UP. On the other-side, my cousin, honest, candid, most caring grandson amongst all of us and full of life.
However, I found myself more thrilled booking tickets and spending, emm all put together 30 hours on the train (Indian Train in general sleeper class without berth) than I did being at the wedding or the reception. Sometimes, I feel the crowd and the pundits, the vidhis and all the flood lights take the delicate human touch away from the wedding. And it becomes an event. These events, taught me a few things, here is lowdown on those learning
Murphy’s Rule is the only one that has no exception
I travelled 17 hours on a train to make it for the first wedding. It was very refreshing to see my brother come pick me up. We rode back home from the sea face. Amazing ride. I’d to be at the wedding in a couple of hours, I had sumptuous lunch and took a little nap. All was cool until I found that none of my formal pants fit me anymore. Lesson 1 If you haven’t worn your formal pants in two years, don’t even bother tyring them out. You are already to fat for those.
I consoled myself, my newly bought jeans with a crisp ironed shirt will fit the bill. There was no other way. In this whole trial and error business, I’d lost time and I’d to request my younger bro for his bike. He happily obliged and mentioned on my way back I should fill some petrol. It is a lil low. Hardly did I know that a lil low fuel tank would only last me 500meters. I’d to push the bike for 2kms before finding a petrol station. Lesson 2 When your siblings hand over their vehicles there is always a caveat.
Just as when I thought things can’t get any worse, after filling up petrol, bike just refused to come to life. Certainly, some foreign particles apart from petrol would have made their way in combustion chamber as I squeezed the very last drop of petrol. Drenched in sweat, 15 minutes later bike sprung back to life. I’d already missed the barat, I changed course to head directly to the reception. Huffing and puffing, I made it there, merely to find out that my D-SLR camera doesn’t have memory card in it. Where is it? Dad’s locker. Why, he had borrowed the camera and per him, card shouldn’t be stored inside.
Phenomenon continued a day later as well, when our so called ‘contact’ in railways failed to convert our waiting-list tickets to confirm for the train journey of 500kms taking 10 hours. Thankfully my dad had a confirm berth, I had to be as comfortable as one could be on the floor. Not much, there were a few cockroaches, footwear that people take off and go up and sleep on their bunk-berths and it was freezing cold.
Just as we reached Ahemadabad,(for the second wedding) a car came to pick us up and as we drove into the porch of my aunt’s bunglow, I saw a stage, decorated chairs, big tables and candles that were now giving up to the blowing wind. Looking at it closer, there were stubs, broken glasses, messed up chairs and empty bottles. So, you see while I was twisting and turning, unable to sleep, I missed out on a party. “Party, yeah. It was excellent. I left early but people were so well dressed. These girls these days, I’m telling you son…they were…” I’d to stop my mum right there. It was worse as it is.
Network, charm but don’t even think of dating
It is as tricky as it can be. Weddings, you dress up in best of your clothes (at least that is the convention), you’ve drinks some times, and you’ve best of the dining and you don’t pay for it at all. So, I hope you are getting what I’m trying say here… You meet girls, women…whatever…that isn’t tricky. What is tricky is, if you get talking to someone, perhaps exchange numbers, move to a corner, get a desert together it might just be frowned on a lil, if not frowned, certainly noticed and made note of in elephant memory of all the aunties and uncles adjusting their glasses over their nose bridge. However, if some old aunty comes by and keeps a hand on your shoulder and points to a girl, “how is she?” it is absolutely fair. It is considered normal is these well-wishers simply walk up to your parents and begin match making talks right their. Interesting.
Sorry for the digression, but the point am trying to make is, weddings are about networking and charming, don’t think of going out on a date with anybody you meet at the wedding a day or two after the event. (Trust me it is a topic of a different post all together)
Lesson 3 Carry your business cards. A lot of them. B’cos when you say you work for Google, they are going to want to have a card.
Lesson 4 Every-dam-body is out there to make and impression, impress, charm. Play along as a debate or elocution competition. There is no winning or losing.
Your aren’t PMSing your are Dreaming
If you are there are the wedding reception and one moment you are laughing and enjoying praise from oldies and next moment you are ready to flee the scene, OR a moment you are telling your sibling that what you will do different at your wedding and the next you are dead-drop silent, one moment you feel high and in the thick of things and second you are lost, don’t worry. You aren’t you know….
You are just dreaming, calculating odds, planning, retrospecting, thinking of her, how you shouldn’t have let go off her, how you are going to say it, are you going to find anyone, isn’t it a lot of money for just one day of celebration, you think of your revised hair-line, pay package, growth path, waistline, parents, holiday destinations, you are also checking out passing by pretty looking women. I mean come on, cut your brain and mind some slack, you either watch football and sip beers or work on excel sheets and powerpoints or snooze all weekends long. How much can your mind take?
To be continued…
