Life and After-life of a Lie

False statement deliberately presented as being true- and so is a lie defined. However, we definitely find the need to devise newer, gullibly streetwise, fast-paced, modern day definitions for a lie and its categories.

“No this is the only way to do it.” You know there is other way too but this one you think is the best one for the other person in question. That isn’t really a lie, it for their own benefit. There is nothing bad about it.

“Was it good?”…emmm “yeah…great.” Not lying again, someone just keeping someone’s heart or someone’s ego.

Sorry, we’ve plans…Can’t get leaves right now…No, I didn’t go out for a movie… Yes, I took my medicines… No, I’ve not touched alcohol in last three months… Yes, I’m off any dope… No, I didn’t cheat on you… There is nothing between us… Yes, everything is FINE. I’m FINE…. I was at a friend’s house studying… Yes, Sir, order was dispatched three days back…etc all of them just whole bunch of lies. Some are personal, some are professional lies, some are not-to-be-rude lies, some are saving-private-grace lies, some are self-dignity minus lies, some convenient and some are coward lies and some are they will never find the truth lies.

They say lies are short-lived and I do agree. A lie has a very short life span. It breeds the moment mind starts wondering how the truth could be bent and manipulated, sometimes a lie flourishes in split seconds or grows steady as mind continues to plot and improvise. However, moment you spit it out, it isn’t a lie anymore. It is the reality. It is its afterlife. A lie reborn as a truth. Because, the lie is recycled for lot more than its worth, furnished with real life imperfections and sold to be bought by the listener.

Some of us grow up in the shade of the afterlife of a lie, some of us create a fence around them and feel safe in this afterlife, for some of us it is a habit and for some it is out of necessity. Surprisingly, we spent most of our lifetime believing and making-believe in the convenience and smoothness of that afterlife.

Feelings, believes, faiths all of them thrive for long on the existence of this afterlife, until one day, when a few things don’t check anymore and the lie ceases to transcend reality and returns to it ground state of being a plain, cold, manipulated lie. If stakes are higher, we do choose to believe what seems to be a lie to be a reality. Because this one tiny wrong stands in the way of all your rights.

We all lie, there is no denying it. I just hope we do our time while lies are in their afterlife and we don’t have to watch them come back to life.

It is just a thought, maybe a statement. You could choose to believe it till the fallacy checks out and comes to life.

Neo

She

I knew I wasn't late, but neither was I on time. I'd expected a huge room with round tables scattered around the stage, or maybe a hall with large seating capacity. I'd be able to sneak in unnoticed.

Only to find out that the room held not more than 20 people. There was only one seat I could have taken without disturbing the class, and it was next to her.

There she was on the aisle seat, her legs crossed. A sharpened pencil in her slender, elegant fingers. Her face was calm yet curious. Her hair tied back in a simple knot. Neck and ears adorned by understated, classy jewelry. My eyes moved from the baby pink strap of her watch to the lacy ends of her white cotton sleeves. This, complimented by well fitting faded jeans. Ending with kohlapuri chappals on her feet, neatly-done nails shaded with baby pink again.

I couldn’t have asked for a better company to run thru next six hours and learn a bit more about someone I just met.

I was pleasantly surprise that at the end of it, I had some more time to spend with her as I was dropping her home. Riding on the same roads with different company and refreshing chat can be quite an experience. Listening to how different things are for her as compared to her home was very interesting. On one such turn, when I asked her why would there be any shortage of people to go out with for a person like you, she mentioned about her relationship status. And without helmet on, ‘why am I not surprised’ look on my face would be a give away. A few turns later, I remember her mentioning something about me being an utter psycho, crazy, insane and maybe stalker kind of a guy, wind blew those words past I guess.

It was so amusing to hear her when she said, “I can’t believe it. I would never have a person I’ve just met drop me back home. And specially a guy. I can’t believe I just said yes.” I insisted I was charming enough but we settled for ‘its my lucky day.’

From life, people, jobs, cities, lifestyles, party, getting sloshed, future, cooking, keeping house clean we talked about loads of things. Finally when I dropped her, she maybe couldn’t help but ask, “So do you offer ride to any strange person you’ve met.” I somehow could sense that ‘person’ translated to ‘girl.’

But, if I could answer her now, I would most certainly say, “I can’t help it if I meet extra-ordinary and special people under most mundane and ordinary circumstances.”

There could be million ways in which we could never meet the people we do, but there is one by which we actually do.

Neo

Love

From the time your stare just naturally slid down from her eyes onto her body to the time you walked up the aisle, from the much awaited phone call to the most hated fight, from the insane evening of passion to an old school wine-dine and a kiss, from the everlasting days and never-ending nights of wait to the hugging one another at the airport, railway station, bus stop, from the first kiss when both of you closed your eyes to watching someone walk away after the graduation, from stepping out of office Christmas party for a walk in the cold to your palms locking into one another at a concert, from the hallmark cards to romantic movies, from hurting the one you adore the most to watching someone you utterly fancied spend rest of their life with someone without knowing what you felt for them, from remembering a minute long (or rather short) chat with a stranger to finding yourself utterly disconnected with your so called trophy girlfriend, from disposable means of pleasure to meaningful pursuits…

Am sure most of you have wondered and always wanted to know what Love really is. At least I’ve.

Many great scholars, icons of romance, lovers, believers, non-believer have tried to define it. Movies, cards, CDs have tried to capture it. Locker room talks to rest room conversations have narrated it. I would neither waste time nor efforts to try something so futile.

I have never seen defining ‘courage’ help an army fight courageously. I’ve not experienced defining ‘faith’ turn a non-believer into a believer. It isn’t up to any one to define Love.

Love is always there if you want it to be. Wrapped in beauty and tucked and hidden between seconds of our lives. If you don’t take a minute out and take a chance, you’ll never find it.

Neo

Frekonomics of Terrorism

“Emm, I don’t feel great. Don’t know but have this thing running back of my mind, you know, It is very recent that, I was sitting down at Forum Mall, Bangalore waiting for my friend to pick me up. Finally, he arrived at 9ish and later at 10:30am I learned that they found a live bomb at the mall. Not too long after that, I was supposed to be in Delhi around October and to squeeze in the extra holiday on Oct-2, 08 I pushed my trip, nothing much but there were blasts in Pahadganj, where I was supposed to go. Top it all, I was to be in Mumbai on 26^th night, and where else would we hang out but for Mondy’s and Leo’s, had to make small detour to Pune and incidentally there was wild wild west during that time in Bombay.”

I think something to that effect were my words, sinking and slouching and shrinking in the chair in front of an old lady who was adjusting her spectacles while taking down notes. Counselling, I figure goes like that.

Well, I sorta feel lucky to be alive you know, don’t know what are the emotions of Indian team touring in New Zealand and what are those of Srilankans who are being flown out of Pakistan as I write.

Makes me wonder about the Frekonomics of Terrorism. If the crowd doesn’t have a face then terrorism is absolutely invisible which can’t be seen through any filter or with any microscope. I don’t know how the world in few years would look like but having grown up in the circumstances, I really can’t imagine it without acts of terrorism and mass death threats.

Terrorism seems to be part of eco-socio system. It is a lucrative business and is also one of the top employers, although which involves handing CRS (Compulsory Retirement Scheme) offers to some innocent folks, kids and some realignment of geography and fabric of society.

Some place gets bombed or shot or is in ruins, you need to cops, army, investigating agencies with their top notch psi-fi gadgets, bunch of politicians from opposition and power brokers for their shot at glory, truck load of journalists-not just local but all over the world. Now, they need to be flown in and kept somewhere, taken care of, they are humans so they will consume products from your country while covering the shocking incident that just occurred. Photo-journalist will clicks the tears before they roll down the cheeks and fall down on ground, because that way the story goes extra mile. Roles would need to be developed, digital images would need printing and publishing.

Machines will churn, wheels will turn, billions of terabytes would exchange servers, plastic cards will be swapped and figures guarded by passwords will blink n change…

Schools will be razed to ground, cities will be burnt, bridges will be made to collapse, public anger will burn civil services and properties down, We’ll need engineers to engineer new structures, builders and contractors to undertake the job and of the ones who have survived will put the mortar and will happily work once they are promised a memorial for the lost lives right in front of the towering complex that is to come up.

Those of us, who are miles away, are also bound to get affected. I mean someone is driving a plane into one of the tallest structures in the world, someone just killed themselves thousands around them by pressing a button, subway train rolled out of one station but before it got anywhere it was into pieces, bar you used to get drunk at now sports bullet marks...how can you not be affected?

We may agree or we may not, we are affected and some seek help consciously by settling on a chair or couch, others contribute to the revenue of mobile carriers by spending most of the time on phone, some express themselves in art and so, other lot is more interesting, subconsciously drift to oblivion, alcohol, grass, smoke, coke, pill …today you are alive you don’t know if you would be tomorrow then what the fuck, might as well have some fun mate…

Legal and illegal medicine industry flourishes, shrinks and counsellors make some money by letting us cope with the situation.

Governments get to point fingers and totally indulge in blame game, people involved in latest multi-billion dollar scams and goof ups get a breather because no one is looking at them.

Television and news, if they haven’t made enough money by telecasting the re-runs of CCTV coverage and footage of ruin, get to make some more money by covering peace march and protests. Social enthusiasts too get to rub shoulders with some serious activist. You feel you did your part. You sign a check or pay some money for relief money, you find some more peace.

Movies industry, they hardly wait these days, after an incident directors, writers tour the ruins and the place, so they have the masala (plot) for their movie which we all will happily watch and feel happy that we survived what actually happened a few years back.

And such an all encompassing business, all that it takes is –a bunch of aimless, futureless young fellas blinded by religion or political agendas/ propagandas. Deliver flawless speech, promise them their virgins or heaven or whatever gets them off, blind them with faith and greater good, you are done with recruiting. Don’t really need HR section in the business because not that you need to offer pension or pay tax or cut provident fund, mostly they die so there is no issue of pink slips either.

Arm dealers, am sure greet their customers based on their demand and bank balances, not a lot of good-will or rapport building needed there.

And all that is at stake is a few good men, who put their lives in the line of fire to fulfil their duties, some innocent kids who could be tomorrows doctors, teachers if nothing at least bread earners for their families, a few mothers who are supporting their families, men, old people-our grand parents and silent structures who have served us, narrated the history to us and who have stood the test of time and weather but failed this one…

Well, looking at the regularity of these terror strikes, I guess someone has the feakonomics of terrorism all figured out.

Don’t be upset. You are still breathing and probably reading the post. Mostly, there is nothing personal, guess it’s just their business.

Neo

Research and PhD

If some institute might be so kind enough as to let me study and do research starting tomorrow, options of topics would be…

1. 1. Validation of ideology of Absolute Non-Violence against Darwin’s Theory of Evolution.

2. 2. Effects of Drugs on Mind

3. 3. Messages hanging on cows in the field, charts, boards, newspapers, billboards, TV, cinema and then advertising in the skies….Advertising what comes next

4. 4. Life without Consequences

55 5. Is there anything like absolute Truth or there are just Versions

6 6. Nothing is original anymore, it is theory of 'reusebility' that rules the world

7. Gross misuse of word 'Love'

Neo

5

What am I?

I’ve a sense of who I’m. At least a sense that is induced by socio-eco-geo factors…I’m a son to well educated, working, upper middle class parents. I’m a pass-out of a respected engineering college, I’m an employee of a big shot company, I’m member of this sports club and that photographic society and so on and I’m author of this blog.

I’ve reasons to believe that you folks can relate with me and hence if situation presents itself, we could be friends, colleagues, acquaintances, reader-writer and so on.

However, what I still can’t seem to figure out is …what am I?

At this moment, I feel, I’m this guy from the book ‘Alchemist,’ No, No, not Santiago, I wish. But this guy, who owned a shop on a hill and always wished and wondered to go to Mecca someday. Santiago works for him and earns enough money for him to go to Mecca, but he still refuses to go to Mecca.

Some people are dreamers but a different kind of dreamers, they do dream something moderately big and something that borders on extremely difficult to impossible but they don’t have the nerve and lack courageous creativity. They desire to have the desire to want the things badly and stretch themselves for it but they don’t really want the things because then there may not be anything left to stretch for.

Sadly enough, at this moment, I can only compare myself with that street dog. Dog that barks and howls and runs after the passing white car. Chases it wildly and gives it up somewhere just before the bend. Ever wondered why…

Because even if it ran and caught up with it, the dog wouldn’t know what to do with it…not to mention beyond the bend, dog would be out of his home turf.

Anyone of you ever felt so?

To say the least, this phase in life is a little Do(d)gy.

Neo

Let Go

“Dude, I recovered 11GB but nothing really from your iTunes folder. Sorry man. Hard-disk is fried. Can’t do much.”

I heard and swallowed. But couldn’t digest.

Back then, I had just got a job that actually paid. After taking parents out for dining, throwing some bounties at brother, buying shirts for dad and starting FD because mom asked, I lived on miserly to save up for my baby…iPod classic.

“Aare, tell me what you want engraved.”

“Engraved?”

“Check it out on their website. I am picking up from the store from SF, I could get you engraved. Your brand new first iPod.”

“Wow, that is awesome. Will write you soon.”

Still remember that conversation as if it happened yesterday. Like a mediocre, school kid I wanted my name engraved on the iPod as if it would be mistaken for somebody else’s notebook or water-bottle. It was going to be my iPod. I did come up with something, something that would always remind me of what I need to be reminded of right now.

Travelling and back packing in Europe, travelling in metros with my head rocking to the music and then suddenly checking if I still have my wallet or someone flicked it on the metro, sitting awake in the freezing, chilly nights by the sea or lake, riding on a bicycle on a sunny morning in the Black Forest, sharing one ear piece with a total stranger because the person liked the music, travelling on local trains in Mumbai hanging out on the doors and adjusting ear-ins to hear the songs, lazing on a hammock at the sea face while listening to music and wondering what if one of those coconuts decides to fall down, wondering if I could take my iPod underwater or while I swam for hours in the pool, buying two size bigger helmet so that ear-in find way inside while I ride on…all this while it was my iPod. Became like extended part of me.

May that be sharing that song with her, or may that be listening to music on full volume to escape from the world around or putting it on while I tried to study or learn something, it was always there.

And yeah, like Mr. Jobs had said, “You’ll never have to delete a song.” I didn’t have to.

German, Spanish, Russian, Marathi, Hindi, English … rock, alternative, pop, classics, trance, instru all of that is gone. Just gone.

Of the few things that I’ve lost in the last few weeks, this one pinches me the most.

Well, I still turn my iPod around and read, what I need to be reminded of,

“Life will never be prettier than it is now.”

Neo

It is not letting go that hurts but otherwise.