Only if Relationships came with Expiry Dates

Consume within 12 hours of opening lid >

One night stand

Store in cold, dry place, out of reach of kids.

Fling

Discard when the taste changes to bitter.

Commitment without investment.

Usable for one year and then can be refilled.

Contract Marriage.

Take after consulting your Physician

Arrange Marriages

Two Tablets whenever, however

Quick Convenient Sex

Made for each other… Oh that is a delusion caused due to …lack of Practicality n other things… u won’t know …

Guess, I'll be wiser next time I go shopping

Neo

Believe

I’ve a friend, if she would write what she told me she would write it something like this :-

All things might be connected, but they are simple and beautiful. You need to see it.

I’ve not seen you this intense in long time, what’s matter with you. What happened?

For once you sound concerned but not angry. May be disappointed but you aren’t rolling up your sleeves and letting your tongue loose. For once I’m seeing you think beyond yourself and you want to give up yet?

Life has just begun. If you think this is all you had and you gave it all and it isn’t working, then maybe you haven’t given it all. Give some more and have patience. Remember when we used to stand by the sea and used to see that old man feed pigeons. You always rushed to feed them and what happened; they all flew away, didn’t they?

Remember how proudly the old man told you, “They are mine and they will always come back to me.” You just frowned and threw all the bread-crump away and ran off. He said something on your back, you didn’t hear it but I did, “They don’t come easy. They don’t stay if you try and hold them back. Instead, smile, have a clean heart and feed them all that you got and watch them take onto the horizon. Don’t run after them, have faith – they will come back to you.”

Life isn’t sweet lofty dreams but it isn’t compromise and why should it be? When you are convinced be convinced.

I’m so happy to hear your voice today. You are like that child who is not hurt by the wound itself but with the fact that no one is there to soothe him. Don’t be. One gets what one can handle, just that it seems difficult at times.

I’m not here to promise you anything, I don’t think I can. I can’t predict future neither can I change your past. Presently, you are miles away, I can’t even give you a hug. But since you are still listening to me,

“I want you to believe in yourself. I want you to live your feelings. Trust in them not for anyone but for yourself. Be honest to yourself and be patient. Be honest with your feelings for as long as you can be. This isn’t poker to say double or quits, but still give all you’ve got. And Relax a bit. Don’t’ theorize everything because you can’t and you shouldn’t. Keep your expectations apart from your feelings for someone. Although, don’t deny your instincts because that is what makes you human. Don’t be afraid of consequences because that is just another word for unexpected results. If your love, honesty and feelings are enslaved by time and circumstance then I don’t think you are the friend I’d met. And hey take it easy. Go early to bed, guess you’ve got office tomorrow.”

15th

14th

Up until I was 17, 14^th February didn’t mean anything more than my grandpa’s birthday. But then, when I found myself tucking my shirt in, polishing my shoes and borrowing hair gel from a friend, I definitely knew there is more to it. But considering it took them upto High Middle Ages until the day was associated with romantic love (well, maybe there are other types of love too), I definitely picked up well with in time.

Today, as I stay awake through unearthly hours, watching the clock tick to 14^th, I feel a lot different. I work in an industry where Coca-Cola invented Santa. So, I’ve kept my eyes open so far for all the consumers. Those tiny heart shaped chocolates, those roses manicured carefully to look natural and yes, those greeting cards, have been mere products I had to get outta basement and make some bucks for my company and myself. That is all that they are to me.

Wait, roll back a bit, not a lot - a few years, when I bunked my college and rushed to the suburbs to pick her up, she made me wait as she had that quick-fix beauty parlor visit. Trust me, when she walked out, I was convinced that she was the only beautiful girl left on earth and I was so happy to have found her. I handed over a pretty flower to her then. 18, how stupid can you get? We did the typical stuff you know, went for a movie, popcorns, held hands, walked out to a nice restaurant, had a nice lunch, then ice-cream and then long walk by the sea, till the Sun set down.

Now, I see all these people purchasing things for St. Valentine’s Day, I feel thoroughly happy that our seasonal campaigns have paid off well. Consumers haven’t let us down again. God bless them. I wish we had some more saints. I mean why not, are you satisfied with having just one day to tell her/him that you love them?

I mean, today is the day you confess that you love them, why not have one more when you can officially say sorry for all the shit that you’ve done, maybe another one when she could all cry out and maybe one when Guys could be Guys. I’m sure the consumer culture we are in, we’ll find some more days. And guys like me won’t be out of work.

It is yet another day, you are right. However, smart breed of animals we are, we utilize this day to say I love you, am sorry, let me make it up to you and so on and so forth. We would expect something to be different about this day, radio stations won’t be tired of playing love songs, you’ll see enough pink on television to have you convinced half a world has gone gay, you’ll see long queues outside restaurants, bars, pubs and discos. People will dress up their best for their beloved ones and so on. All of this hype, sometimes pretty much gets me to believe it. Perhaps this is the DAY. But I’m still a sales-guy at heart I guess.

….

I’ve called up grandpa and wished him. I also tried convincing granny to take him out for a date. I wish they go for a walk outside. Where they would walk next to each other as they have all their lives for last 50 years.

…

Day has gone by well, am on my way.

Emm, I didn’t mean to buy it but that little girl just walked by with those pretty flowers and I just happened to have some loose change in my wallet so, that is why this flower. Nothing special about it..

Looking at empty horizon, I wouldn’t like to admit but somewhere deep within, 18 year old still lives who is saying, “Come on, Just give it a shot. Worked once, at least give it a try.”

He chuckles, I breathe.

Neo

Carefully

I’ve walked enough and climbed over enough mountains

All this while have I been in search of an oasis?

Don’t know

But I’ve watched the earth go in circles hoping to get closer to the Sun someday.

Some days she bathes in the pure warmth of Sunshine

And she pulls on days in the slumber of dark nights

I’ve kept going just watching her go on.

Now, I’m tired and broke.

I’ve lost my spine

I’ve lost my smile

I’ve lost my home.

I’m poor now.

I’m down, not having enough strength to stand up for my dreams

I hold my dreams up-close tightly to my heart.

Please, Please…as you crush my dreams under your ruthless feet,

Do it fast but do it carefully,

I know they will crumble and go down and take me with them.

I know they will shed silent tiers

And I want to hear them cry

I want to see them break

I want to feel them disappear in no where.

Please crush me and take away all that makes me- me.

But do it carefully because I don’t want you to miss

I don’t want another bruise that won’t bleed me to death

I’m sad but not afraid

Stamp over my dreams but do it carefully

Don’t turn back,

You might shed a tear or two.

Please don’t

Be careful.

Neo