First to Thirty First

Today is my parent’s thirty first wedding anniversary. In the past eight years, I have either been out of town or out of country on their anniversary day. And it is only in the past eight years that I have developed a sense for what anniversaries mean. 

Unfortunately, I have never been there on the Day to be able to spend it with them. So I call them.

I called on the landline hoping to get hold of both of them,

“Hi, happy anniversary dad. How does it feel ?”

“Hello, hello, good. It feels ok,” he acknowledged.

I said, “31 years hannn”

“Yeah, thirty years is a long time. We continue to understand and accommodate one another. She does more accommodating and understanding than me. It is great,” he continued, “She got you some t-shirts. She is going to ship them. And she gifted me pants. Good ones.”

I admit, “Thirty years is really a long time. That is great.” Jogging my memory for the longest 

relationship I have been in my adulthood.

I ask, “Is mom there? Can I talk to her?”

He replies, “She is in the other flat. Call her on her cell phone.”

We recently rented a unit across the hallway to have more space. Mom was there, helping my grandma out. I ask, “Which cell phone – her work or personal ? or does she have your cell phone ?”

Yes, between two of them they have four phones – three cell phones and a landline.

“Try any, they should all be on the desk.”

I dial and after two beeps, mom picks up.

“Thank you,” she says.

“So how was it ? How do you feel?”

She tells me, “Your dad gave me thousand rupees as a present for anniversary and I got him track-pants.”

And a few things run through my mind, Thirty one years, pragmatic nature, zero expectations, and content.

I enquire, "How was first anniversary, do you remember ?"

She answers, “Does he ever remember anything? My sister had to remind him that it was our first anniversary. I was pregnant with you and celebrated our first anniversary at your grandpa’s, far away from Bombay. Your dad couldn’t make it to grandpa's.”

She adds on , “Since I was pregnant with you, I only had ice-cream to celebrate.” And breaks into a laughter.

I thank her and chuckle at her sense of humor.

“Thirty years is a long time. I am too busy with your dad and grandma. I would have loved to visit you otherwise. How is the weather?”

And she goes on. I don't quite get what she is saying, until I snapped out of the trance, wipe an indecisive tear off the corner of my eye and I said what one says when they don’t know what was being said…”Hmmmm….ahannn....Right”

I ask, “Did he (younger brother) call?”

She replies, “Yeah he did just after midnight. He arranged for a bouquet. We got this nice bouquet in the morning.”

I say, “Wow, he has grown up. Matured.”

“I feel like am a bad son. Maybe I am.” I don’t say.

“I have to go. But please email me what all you need because I am getting ready to ship you things on Monday. Take some time over the weekend and send me the list. Bye,” Mom hands up. 

Happy Anniversary aai-ba.

Neo