Snowflakes

Like any other weekday morning, I ducked into coffee shop across the street and grabbed my medium roast coffee. As I stepped out to walk up to my office, I felt the chill in the air, and soon enough noticed the snowflakes settling down on my shoulders. The first ones of this winter...

For someone like me who comes from a warmer climate, a few years ago ‘snow’ in itself was a foreign concept and then snow in October was just unfathomably foreign concept. Now, it doesn’t seem that strange but I still need time to get used to it.

I shove my left hand deep in my pocket, take off the cup-sleeve and feel the full warmth of my cup of coffee. As I rush along the side-walk, I notice the trees. In fact, I notice lack of leaves, actually. Just the skeleton of branches, shivering in the wind as the snow settles on the trunks. 

And it strikes me, it is winter.

It is perhaps time to shed off all that has run its course. Some absurdities, heartaches, and even a few blunders that crept in, it is time to let them fall off so you could be ready for all things new, exciting, and challenging.

It is time to serenely embrace the new season and seek new activities, connections, and routines.

For now it’s time to seek warmth.

Neo 

30 Days Of Sobriety

Let it be known that I was never a raging alcoholic and I don’t plan to become one.

Here is an account of going 30 something days without drinking alcohol of any kind

• Drinking six glasses of water in the same time that you would take to drink six beers, doesn’t feel nice
• The number of times I got asked (please note : with noticeable concern in their voice) “You are not drinking?” As if, my lever would suffer severe consequences if I took it off its staple diet of beer and whiskey
• My upstairs neighbors party really hard and late
• 90% of my social interactions involved saying “Cheers”
• Some of us have dropped those F-bombs with additional qualifiers after one too many drinks and have those “I love you Man” moments, I did not have those in the past 30 days
• Waking up at 7 on Saturdays wasn’t half as bad, and sailing crew acknowledged – “you are showing up awfully early for weekend races”
• I ran 10K under an hour
• Received messages to the effect of “Hey man, thank you so much for getting me home last night.”
• After a long crazy Saturday night on town and four ginger ales later, I walked away with a tab of $3 ( Slice of pizza costs more )

I could go on. However, on a more serious note, the conversations were engaging, I didn’t second guess myself next morning, I enjoyed people-watching at bar, saved some money. Spent a bunch of Fridays home reading, writing and thinking.

I realized that I truly enjoy drinking good alcoholic beverage. May that be a kraft hoppy beer, a pale ale, or a full-body red wine, smoky bourbon or an 18 year old single malt Scotch, or dry and crisp Gin with twist of lemon & tonic. I enjoy the taste.

Also, one day sober or a lifetime, all it takes is a drink to go back to zero. It isn’t about the days and months of sobriety, like all things, it is about moderation

Cheers

Neo

Perspective

Fundraiser, I don’t like that word. In my dictionary the word has a very negative meaning. It paints a picture of a banquet hall filled with privileged people, competing for the attention and the seat at the hottest table, as far removed from the cause as they could be, and rubbing shoulders with other socialites.

This was different. Room was packed with diverse set of people and when my friend took the microphone and read out the numbers and success stories of asylum seekers, the room resonated in applaud. However, nothing my friend said could sum it up like Paul (that is not his real name) – who was granted asylum thanks to the efforts of The Advocates For Human Rights did. He said, “You can not stop sadness and fear from visiting you. But these people helped me shut the door slam on that sadness and fear. Thank you so much for helping finally sleep peacefully at night.”

It is inspiring to see the lawyers stand up for a cause. I imagine there is more money and fame in patent infringement, high-profile divorces, and suing McDonald’s for their extra hot coffee for that matter. But these guys are here, rescuing one life at a time.

Being in a foreign country myself, I have my set of sadness and fears as well. Certainly nothing compared to Paul’s. But his words did help me put it things in perspective. 

Sure, there are uncertainties and insecurities but I still have the basic freedom to believe what I choose to, follow any religion I prefer, love regardless of gender, and above all express myself.

And for that I am grateful. 

Neo

Surprise Yourself

First time I ran for more than half an hour without anyone chasing me was last year for my company’s community 5K run. I ran liked a mad man, and half an hour later all I felt was my legs and heart pounding at the pace that made me worried.

This year when I went back for the same 5K run, I shaved two minutes of my time. That’s it, it was time for double or quits. I signed up for a 10K without losing any time.

Day 1 of training for my 10K and I buckled down after 4 miles. I limped back home. The pain in my foot didn’t subside and I found out I was suffering from Plantar Fasciitis. It is nothing but a way of saying my foot really hurts when I try to move.

I gave up training for the race. I even looked into refund policies. And now I was now going to be that guy - “No Show.”

And then something unexpected happened. My colleague, a tennis player in her past life, handed me a tennis ball and said “8 hours that you are sitting at your desk, keep rolling your foot over the ball. Ice it. Rest it. Don’t give up on the race yet.”

A couple of days later, another friend offered up a splint that would help.

Come race day, I showed up. Unsure of what to expect, I had a mantra - Run, Walk or Tumble, I am crossing that line. However, to my utter surprise, I rounded up my first mile within 9 minutes, half way mark in 30 and now I was running to beat 60 minute mark. And I beat it. 57:40.

But that is not the coolest part. You know what is really cool, I enjoyed the run, I noticed the fall that had now set in the Twin cities, noticed a guy with his guitar who was busking – singing Beatles songs, lady who was blasting Journey (Don’t stop believing)  on her front yard to support the runners, I took in the view as I came up the hill, and crossed the finish line. Oh and surprised myself – that I could do it. 

Neo

Nostalgia

Wondering how things used to be …

And I notice the logs burning in the fireplace

Effortlessly giving light and warmth, while turning into soot

And so did all those wonderful moments

They appeared out of nowhere, lit up my life with warmth and faded away

Nostalgia is like a warm fireplace on a cold winter night

I sit there with the intimate company of loneliness and in the warmth of moments gone by

Neo