“Are you ok ? Was that the first time you saw them together?”
“Yes”
“I walked in with them. I would have texted you but I saw
that you had already started the work out”
“Oh Well”
“Why did you guys keep quiet? She happily introduced him to
me.”
“ “
Why did he? Why was he afraid, was it what people may think?
Was it the fear that if they didn’t work out what then? Was he waiting for it
to go more steady …
Was it the first time he had let it happen
No.
That last text message, sent him 12 years back. Back when he
met his first ever girl-friend. He was 17 and she was 18. A little bolder,
smarter, outspoken than him and gorgeous like no other 18 year old.
Relationship ran its course, he had his heart broken two and
half years later.
Never even once he spoke the word “meet xxxx, my girlfriend”
All of his friends had met her and he figured what is there to say, they will
figure it out.
Sure they did. But did he ?
Fast forward a few years forward, he met this girl who played
‘plastic jesus’ by jack Johnson in room lit with candles in heart of the city
of Berlin. He knew what he needed to know. A year later, when he was parting
ways at the airport, unbeknownst he had gone this whole year without even once
saying out loud – “Hey Sebastian, meet xxx, my girlfriend.”
And names and stories flashed in front of him as he rolled
the dial on years passed - forward. Same stories with different time stamps yet
similar endings. Sad.
And when his mind steadied on the present and he returned to
his tungsten lit living room, there was only one face, one name in front of
him. Someone he met a few weeks ago. These weeks have felt like months,
perhaps, years to him. And he picked up the phone and almost rung her up but
then stopped and looked at the watch and kept the phone aside.
That night as he slipped into bed, and pulled the blanket
over, he knew, he had to get out of his own way of finding happiness.
He had to stop romanticizing hurt and pain post-facto. Rather,
he had to embrace the likelihood of denial and happily ever-after, alike.
He knew, what he needed to do, what he needed to say.
Neo
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