When you are waiting for a moment, waiting for a decision, or waiting for someone or just waiting for something to happen…while pretty life stealthily passes you by and all you can focus on is the painstaking wait and a few run of the mill hurdles which now all of sudden seems like mountains.
You tend to deploy day dream, self consoling and all other forms of distraction to get you by. And there is always the classic remedy, looking back at your past,
In my case, the long walk by marine drive in the stormy weather before results, deep breath before jumping into the sea prior to the sea swimming competition, clearing of throat before answering the German official at the embassy, the pause before asking her ‘so what do you say?,’ getting on the flight after a sleepless night and looking out of the window for the reassuring sunrise…
You tell yourself, it has always worked out. You had no way but one to go and doors opened, people nodded, you were able to be at the place at the right time, so it will be…
I wonder, if in situations such as these we only tend to think of the times when ‘we did actually make it’ and filter out all the rest or did all of you always made it…you know when it mattered to you the most…
I try not to focus on the past. It has a habit of seeming better and better each time I reminisce. I think its an automatic survival tactic.
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