Sideways down

Tell me where this joke got higher

Tell me where this flirt got serious

Tell me when the future got heavy on us

Tell me when things started moving sideway down?

Everybody fucks up and that is just the way it’s been going around

Maybe I should now move along

Maybe drop of blood .. a drop of love is what you want

You’d found someone who makes you laugh,

Give it all but that’s not good enough…

You’d found someone who said he would stay

And stick around but that is not what you what you want

We slipped at the start and

Dragged the whole thing sideways down

Starting strangers

We end as ones again

But lot of emotions have flown under the bridge

And can’t just join the points

To get a picture

Cuz afraid it might be ours

But without colours

Without feathers

Without dreams and unknowns curiosities

And without butterflies in stomach and fireflies around

Under bright sun bathed skies

On Flawless beaches

Around tall and lonesome mountains

Among old ruins

With best friends

You walk with a smile

Smile….

Because if it is true,

What you said…

There is long way now…

We fell out of our place

Although we played our part

Our part to blame

Because when you find something so good

It is hard to focus on what is wrong

In the end, what hurt the worse

Has been resolved than the first

Because now I know what you said…

Nothing went misunderstood but

Mystery did lead to doubt

If this is what you were waiting for

yeah was good thing to leave it the chance

Because now I’m picking up the message and have been closer than ever been before,

If you still have something to say, then say it to me now…

But now future gets mad at me

and time goes on living

How could I be mad at you

You did what you did and you followed through

You were the one who always said….

But am not sad

Just disappointed

And no am not mad

But just disappointed

Future got on top of you

Working out of your skin

And then you went beneath it all

Just like anybody else would

I’m standing alone in this town

Starring around and wondering how to get out

And words don’t really fit

What I feel for you

And no-one is in love, maybe just misdirected.

Neo

Give me a place

I’ve flown over 10K kilometers over last few days, I’ve been in more than a couple of countries and a few capitals and cities glittering with blinding lights, I’ve been in the black-forest and on the crowded over packed buses. I’ve ridden my bicycle and have been also received in a C-class cars at the airports…I’ve met some interesting people but have bid farewell to many more who’ve been closest and dearest to my heart…and come to think of it – amongst this turbulence, airports now have become places where I can think, I can write and I can feel without relating them with people and bittersweet memories.

Once, you check-in, you see your baggage go rolling down those conveyer belts and what can’t go on conveyer belt you leave it outside the door, just like you’ve tried doing time and time over again.

Standing outside the gate, blowing the last cloud of smoke in the air…you can’t help but think of last time when someone escorted you to the airport or of the person who was on the other side to receive you.

Each place is tagged with people you’ve been there with, it is sprinkled with a smell, a picture, a memory, it is laced in your doubt and it is always something you are thinking about…

But these waiting lobbies have become mine now, just mine… I am safe here, I’m alone here. I’ve my space here, I’m always in my elements here. With or without over-packed baggage I’m always comfortable here. However, I can only keep him in exile until I’m supposed to board my flight, then I’ve to leave this place, I’ve to let him free.

Greedily, I rush to some more places and I beg for some more places. When the dust settles, I just want a place, a place where I would find myself, without turbulent memories and stirred up existence. Where, I would feel at home but be free from any remembrance of anything.

I want a place like this waiting hall but minus waiting, minus my baggage, minus closed doors and minus pseudo loneliness.

I just want one sweet little place of my own…

Neo

blink

You wake up, not sure from the dream or from a nightmare or from a tired slumber, you are not sure what…

You’ve heard the breaking voice and are now sticking your head out of the glass window, you look out, the horizon is filled with smog and cloud, so homogeneously mixed that you can’t make out what is what, down there is the shimmering of lights, at the first glance looks like bunch of tiny little stars bundled together and sprinkled around, looks like flickering crickets trying to tell you something…

The sky isn’t clear for you to see the skies, the sun has just escaped leaving the diminishing twilight behind and the you are approaching your so called destination at 500km/hr.

You lose altitude a few meters per second and before you realize those shimmering lights come to life and give way to your vision to see the city, the city waking up to go out in the evening, to dress up and shine up to step out n step up.

You see those zillion vehicles jamming the city corners, losing altitude that fast you slowly start seeing or perhaps dreaming, you pass those huge roads, see residential areas or perhaps they are industrial but how does it matter…you are dreaming by now perhaps…

A dream, a city, a blur face painted at smoggy horizon and your favorite song running on you ipod. You come further down and then finally fly over so close to that street where perhaps once you wished you stood and starred at the skies and the coming by planes till your neck hurts and then you would have looked at the familiar face smiling back at you, assuring you.

In split second, the rubber hits the concrete and bang…. You feel it, you still want to stick your head out but all you see is a wing, a blinker and passing by concrete runway. The flaps on the wing go up sharp vertical to help keep the aircraft on the ground and you blink longer, keeping your eyes wide shut to keep your mind with in the aircraft, within you. Pilot guides the machine to rest and so do you pull your dreamy shutter up vertical to bring you wavering mind to rest.

When lights come on, you blink again.

Not sure if you’ve woken up from a dream, a nightmare or a sloppy slumber.

Neo