A Year Gone By

Most days of our lives are insignificant. They pass without any stress, without registering any significant memories. But a few days leave their mark, forge a memory that is hard to wipe out, leave you with sweet-bitter taste and those are the ones you remember. Today is one of them …

I’m awful at remembering birthdays and anniversaries, yes, even with Facebook, I find it tough to keep pace. However, I remember, this day last year, I woke up late than I had wanted and shrugged of the hangover. I pulled out my favourite sky blue shirt and dark blue pants to go with it, crisply ironed. Polished shoes, laptop bag and jet-washed black pulsar, occasion – a travel writing workshop.

I love writing but that is not why I went there. No one can teach you how to write, but they can tell you what to write, where to sell it and they can put you in touch with people with the interests as yours. And as a matter of fact the workshop did put me in touch with someone I would have otherwise never met.

I knew half the people in the room, half of the remaining weren’t remotely approachable and I don’t remember the rest. But it really didn’t matter once She casted a look and offered me a seat and then blatantly copying her email and then graduating to ask her number and eventually asking her out follow, which is why I know remember today last year…

What followed after that deserves another post and a different platform.
A year later, a lot has changed. There is small real estate permanently booked in my brain for the beautiful time spent and lasting memories forged. What hasn’t is- I still don’t know what I expect from each day and each new experience I am about to embrace. I’m equally clueless about what next six months of my life would bring, where would I be next year this day, whom will I celebrate my next birthday with.
And as in-flight light go dim, rubber burns the tarmac, I feel that jerk and push back in my seat & my horizon tilts, I just soak it all in…what has passed and fill my lungs with a deep nostalgic breath for what awaits on the other side

Is it Just Me?

When you are waiting for a moment, waiting for a decision, or waiting for someone or just waiting for something to happen…while pretty life stealthily passes you by and all you can focus on is the painstaking wait and a few run of the mill hurdles which now all of sudden seems like mountains.

You tend to deploy day dream, self consoling and all other forms of distraction to get you by. And there is always the classic remedy, looking back at your past,

In my case, the long walk by marine drive in the stormy weather before results, deep breath before jumping into the sea prior to the sea swimming competition, clearing of throat before answering the German official at the embassy, the pause before asking her ‘so what do you say?,’ getting on the flight after a sleepless night and looking out of the window for the reassuring sunrise…

You tell yourself, it has always worked out. You had no way but one to go and doors opened, people nodded, you were able to be at the place at the right time, so it will be…

I wonder, if in situations such as these we only tend to think of the times when ‘we did actually make it’ and filter out all the rest or did all of you always made it…you know when it mattered to you the most…

Neo

Boys To Men To Boys

I

She rang the bell - adjusting her hair and her dress while waiting impatiently to see his cheerful face through the grilled door. Dressed in formal trouser and shirt, he left the pasta on a mild flame and rushed to the door to let her in.

Since evening he had been busy cooking or at least trying. Garlic bread, mushroom soup etc was ready and now was the main course – pasta with white sauce. Earlier he had bough her favourite ice-cream and kept it in the freezer. He had carefully decked up his drawing board with an apt tabletop and set up a nice table with a lit candle on the terrace with two out of place Neelkamal chairs to go with the table. Wine glasses were missing but a Sulley Merlot was there and he had managed to mine out his swiss-knife to open it just at the right time.

They sat under the well laid out stars and pleasant moonlight, with flickering candles. She didn’t expect one bit of this, considering she knew, he has always been ‘let us order-in guy.’ She blushed as she gulped down the first sip of her wine and in return he smiled back.

As the clock drew closer to 12, she felt like a drive. A long one. He proposed, “How does Mumbai sea face sound?.” Without a delay of a minute, candles were blown, drawing board brought in, vessels dumped in the sink, socks n shoes and thud of the main door and her cars engine came to life.

Couple of hours later, they were at the sea face, watching the fire-works as they bid adieu to a great year together and got ready to reel in a new one. Phones rang, kept ringing, he picked one out of those calls. And they were off to his friends house party. ‘Hawaiian,’ it seems was the theme. Hosting couple opened the door and these two sober souls mixed with the rest.

She nodded, “You could drink. I will drive.” He smiled and obliged his friends. Shots, shooters and hugs followed. They left the party in a while, she drove this time.

On the way yet another call, yet another party at the farmhouse…they turned the wheel.
Next morning, he woke up earlier, milk and coffee was hard to find, he managed a litre of mineral water for her and they hit the road again. It was time to go home, their respective homes.

II

Rubbing eyes he woke up to see it was already 9. Fighting off the hangover from the 30th, he rushed to the washroom. Clock was already breathing down his neck. “We are supposed to leave. NOW.”-Dad.

He rushed, got ready the best he could, prayed a little and rushed to the car. Took out the parallel parked car, plugged in some floyd and waited for mom and dad to come out.
Drove up to the beach house. Picked up some beer on the way.

He hung around with all the uncles and aunties and reminiscing the old days. Later he walked up to he sun-set point and spent the whole evening there, trying to put the pieces together since he last came to this place.

From playing and cheating, staying up, ghost stories, childhood girlfriend, driving cars, to goofing up, flicking beers to father and son conversations, uncles’ advice; everything cluttered his mind. Beyond a point, he just pressed the speed dial and rest is personal.

With the setting Sun, there some strange peace and content in his heart, there was a joy of having made it to this place eventually. There was some excitement to welcome the new year and spend the first day of it at the beach. Spend the bright sunny day at the beach with people he grew up with, sip on a few beers, swim out in the sea and take a long walk on the beach with his father.

When the clock struck 12, mom and dad were the first people he hugged. Probably there was a lot going on in his mind but; “It is gonna be a great year” were the words that made it through the vocal cord. And he hugged them tighter.

Next day he drove back with his parents, messaged near and dear ones and spent a peaceful evening with them.

III

They both walked into the new years with some resolutions, thoughts, decisions, preferences etc…and by the time the parties were over some of them were already on the back-burners.
From the time they could remember ‘partying’, there was something different to each new years, and this year was no exception.

Boys to Men to Boys and so it continued…


Neo

Weddings

These days there has been a new addition to seasonal events one needs to keep an eye out for. Now, in addition to F1, European football, Tennis; you need to keep an eye out for the wedding season. This season is all the more vital for ones stepping up from just there to feast on to free deserts to armatures or rather to bes.

I for one didn’t attend these weddings for deserts. It was my best friend from college getting married and last of the first cousins from Mum’s side tying a knot. Friend, I believe the best a man could be. Polite, gentleman, tall, fair, tennis player, avid photographer and latest in the league of Investment bankers, going by his popularity from college days, there was only one way his demand curve was moving – UP. On the other-side, my cousin, honest, candid, most caring grandson amongst all of us and full of life.

However, I found myself more thrilled booking tickets and spending, emm all put together 30 hours on the train (Indian Train in general sleeper class without berth) than I did being at the wedding or the reception. Sometimes, I feel the crowd and the pundits, the vidhis and all the flood lights take the delicate human touch away from the wedding. And it becomes an event. These events, taught me a few things, here is lowdown on those learning

Murphy’s Rule is the only one that has no exception

I travelled 17 hours on a train to make it for the first wedding. It was very refreshing to see my brother come pick me up. We rode back home from the sea face. Amazing ride. I’d to be at the wedding in a couple of hours, I had sumptuous lunch and took a little nap. All was cool until I found that none of my formal pants fit me anymore. Lesson 1 If you haven’t worn your formal pants in two years, don’t even bother tyring them out. You are already to fat for those.

I consoled myself, my newly bought jeans with a crisp ironed shirt will fit the bill. There was no other way. In this whole trial and error business, I’d lost time and I’d to request my younger bro for his bike. He happily obliged and mentioned on my way back I should fill some petrol. It is a lil low. Hardly did I know that a lil low fuel tank would only last me 500meters. I’d to push the bike for 2kms before finding a petrol station. Lesson 2 When your siblings hand over their vehicles there is always a caveat.

Just as when I thought things can’t get any worse, after filling up petrol, bike just refused to come to life. Certainly, some foreign particles apart from petrol would have made their way in combustion chamber as I squeezed the very last drop of petrol. Drenched in sweat, 15 minutes later bike sprung back to life. I’d already missed the barat, I changed course to head directly to the reception. Huffing and puffing, I made it there, merely to find out that my D-SLR camera doesn’t have memory card in it. Where is it? Dad’s locker. Why, he had borrowed the camera and per him, card shouldn’t be stored inside.

Phenomenon continued a day later as well, when our so called ‘contact’ in railways failed to convert our waiting-list tickets to confirm for the train journey of 500kms taking 10 hours. Thankfully my dad had a confirm berth, I had to be as comfortable as one could be on the floor. Not much, there were a few cockroaches, footwear that people take off and go up and sleep on their bunk-berths and it was freezing cold.

Just as we reached Ahemadabad,(for the second wedding) a car came to pick us up and as we drove into the porch of my aunt’s bunglow, I saw a stage, decorated chairs, big tables and candles that were now giving up to the blowing wind. Looking at it closer, there were stubs, broken glasses, messed up chairs and empty bottles. So, you see while I was twisting and turning, unable to sleep, I missed out on a party. “Party, yeah. It was excellent. I left early but people were so well dressed. These girls these days, I’m telling you son…they were…” I’d to stop my mum right there. It was worse as it is.

Network, charm but don’t even think of dating

It is as tricky as it can be. Weddings, you dress up in best of your clothes (at least that is the convention), you’ve drinks some times, and you’ve best of the dining and you don’t pay for it at all. So, I hope you are getting what I’m trying say here… You meet girls, women…whatever…that isn’t tricky. What is tricky is, if you get talking to someone, perhaps exchange numbers, move to a corner, get a desert together it might just be frowned on a lil, if not frowned, certainly noticed and made note of in elephant memory of all the aunties and uncles adjusting their glasses over their nose bridge. However, if some old aunty comes by and keeps a hand on your shoulder and points to a girl, “how is she?” it is absolutely fair. It is considered normal is these well-wishers simply walk up to your parents and begin match making talks right their. Interesting.

Sorry for the digression, but the point am trying to make is, weddings are about networking and charming, don’t think of going out on a date with anybody you meet at the wedding a day or two after the event. (Trust me it is a topic of a different post all together)

Lesson 3 Carry your business cards. A lot of them. B’cos when you say you work for Google, they are going to want to have a card.

Lesson 4 Every-dam-body is out there to make and impression, impress, charm. Play along as a debate or elocution competition. There is no winning or losing.

Your aren’t PMSing your are Dreaming

If you are there are the wedding reception and one moment you are laughing and enjoying praise from oldies and next moment you are ready to flee the scene, OR a moment you are telling your sibling that what you will do different at your wedding and the next you are dead-drop silent, one moment you feel high and in the thick of things and second you are lost, don’t worry. You aren’t you know….

You are just dreaming, calculating odds, planning, retrospecting, thinking of her, how you shouldn’t have let go off her, how you are going to say it, are you going to find anyone, isn’t it a lot of money for just one day of celebration, you think of your revised hair-line, pay package, growth path, waistline, parents, holiday destinations, you are also checking out passing by pretty looking women. I mean come on, cut your brain and mind some slack, you either watch football and sip beers or work on excel sheets and powerpoints or snooze all weekends long. How much can your mind take?

To be continued…

Wake up Karan

Now, I wasn’t sure what the whole raving was all about until I went to a theatre to watch the movie ‘Wake up Sid,’ “finally” as some of my friends would like to add.
In half an hour, it was clear to me as to why some of my friends (girls precisely) were raving about it, with Mr. Kapoor and Mr. Khanna, I wonder if they’d noticed anything else. For the rest like me, the movie was an utter drag.

It is a story of a typical Mumbaiya spoilt brat Sid and people around him. Beginning from the fun college days to the highly clichéd last day party, the results, the enlightenment, a few twists n a few turns, a bit of hard-working, fun-loving, charming, problem solving chocolate heroism, and wollah…viewer is finally relieved it is all over.

Don’t hold your breath as the movie doesn’t have any surprises, it proceeds just as you and I would think it would proceed. We all have watched Farhan Akhtar’s Lakshya and it is hard not to compare this half baked product with Lakshya. Unlike Lakshya, this one strays a lot from it centre theme (or at least what we were brought to think was the central idea of waking Sid up). By the time movie reaches its climax, I couldn’t help but wonder if the previous 10 reels were rolled for the romance to take place or was it to show how a boy grows into a man and finds his destiny and blah blah…

Sid and Aisha, the two main characters share most of the spotlights, however, the focus keeps shifting from one to the other and the idea of waking Sid up seems to get lost in all of this. Some scenes are so lame and so drag that all I could think was ‘I would love to have all the tees Ranbir has worn in the movie.’ However, some of the scenes are really high intensity and very well shot such as one where Aisha(Konkana Sen) returns home all jumbled up and fuming and Sid empties a bottle of water on her head. This one captures the sensuous moment between Sid and Ayesha and trust me Aisha looks nothing short of stunning.

Music is pleasant but nothing that sticks on beyond the exit door of the movie hall. Costumes are very well designed / picked and especially, the locations that are chosen to shoot are refreshing, realistic and any Bombay lover would be able to associate with them.

A subtle love story springing to life in the last moment, romancing the city through the lens of camera, signature Dad played by Anupam Kher, power pack performance by miss Sen and eye-pleasing and natural Ranbir Kapoor, the movie is solid but only in bits n pieces. Bollywood’s old recipe of ‘a lil bit of everything’ has spoilt this one.


Neo

Places Things People and me

With every forward step towards the paved entrance of that plush three start hotel, my mind was teleporting in the past to the bright sunny day when I rolled in on my bike into the same entrance. Crisp iron shirt just like one I’ve on right now, my backpack, formal shoes and so on. Back here for a business…
As interesting as it could be, we walk into the same restaurant and grab a table right opposite the aisle. I stop for a second, turn my head ..chuckle then go silent and respond to other persons comment “Yeah, indeed this place is nice. Good ambiance.”

“Yes, I’ve been here before. And when I started my day this morning I didn’t imagine I would be here today. And there is more to this place. And I want to just call this meeting off and probably get hold of Jack Daniels while it rains and pours outside. I would much rather have you leave me to myself for this evening.”…. I don’t say.
Well I didn’t smile as much today, I didn’t have anything smart to say, I didn’t have my bike today, I didn’t have anyone to offer a ride today….I just sat down, discussed, took notes, shook hands and slammed the door shut when I got into the cab and asked him to roll.

Cleaned my cupboards the other day… found cards, tickets and all of the stuff that you promise yourself to get rid of one day but that day never comes. That day still didn’t come

Opened this hand-bag which was hidden somewhere on antique, got hold of an electric kettle, a cooker and lot of other stuff…I hadn’t used in a while…it wasn’t my stuff but I had it.

Had gone out with my roomie for supper, he tells me bout his trip to Malaysia and the flight delays thanks to weather. Interestingly he has a story, story that happens to some of us while we drag our hand luggage around waiting room, browsing internet, window shopping or just looking at the runway. He met someone and spent the whole day chit-chatting. Pretty girl…I guess. He smiled to register his accord. “Dude, you know what, I know my next destination. I’m going there. What say we take a small holiday down there…. “…I smile - gulp the last sip of lemonade – look up and smile.

In Dublin, my friend would ask me, “So what’s the stody?”

Mine is same as anyone else’s….a story with a twist…

I try to force one more smile…

Neo

Life and After-life of a Lie

False statement deliberately presented as being true- and so is a lie defined. However, we definitely find the need to devise newer, gullibly streetwise, fast-paced, modern day definitions for a lie and its categories.

“No this is the only way to do it.” You know there is other way too but this one you think is the best one for the other person in question. That isn’t really a lie, it for their own benefit. There is nothing bad about it.

“Was it good?”…emmm “yeah…great.” Not lying again, someone just keeping someone’s heart or someone’s ego.

Sorry, we’ve plans…Can’t get leaves right now…No, I didn’t go out for a movie… Yes, I took my medicines… No, I’ve not touched alcohol in last three months… Yes, I’m off any dope… No, I didn’t cheat on you… There is nothing between us… Yes, everything is FINE. I’m FINE…. I was at a friend’s house studying… Yes, Sir, order was dispatched three days back…etc all of them just whole bunch of lies. Some are personal, some are professional lies, some are not-to-be-rude lies, some are saving-private-grace lies, some are self-dignity minus lies, some convenient and some are coward lies and some are they will never find the truth lies.

They say lies are short-lived and I do agree. A lie has a very short life span. It breeds the moment mind starts wondering how the truth could be bent and manipulated, sometimes a lie flourishes in split seconds or grows steady as mind continues to plot and improvise. However, moment you spit it out, it isn’t a lie anymore. It is the reality. It is its afterlife. A lie reborn as a truth. Because, the lie is recycled for lot more than its worth, furnished with real life imperfections and sold to be bought by the listener.

Some of us grow up in the shade of the afterlife of a lie, some of us create a fence around them and feel safe in this afterlife, for some of us it is a habit and for some it is out of necessity. Surprisingly, we spent most of our lifetime believing and making-believe in the convenience and smoothness of that afterlife.

Feelings, believes, faiths all of them thrive for long on the existence of this afterlife, until one day, when a few things don’t check anymore and the lie ceases to transcend reality and returns to it ground state of being a plain, cold, manipulated lie. If stakes are higher, we do choose to believe what seems to be a lie to be a reality. Because this one tiny wrong stands in the way of all your rights.

We all lie, there is no denying it. I just hope we do our time while lies are in their afterlife and we don’t have to watch them come back to life.

It is just a thought, maybe a statement. You could choose to believe it till the fallacy checks out and comes to life.

Neo